I didn't hit her, it's not true, it's bullshit I did not hit her, i Did NAHT! Oh vassup Mark!

So, Sacha Baren Cohen, 'king of comedy', returns to the big screen almost 3 years after Borat made everyone gasp for air in the cinema time and time again, critics loved it, audiences loved it, it even got an Oscar nomination. Now with the final character from his Ali G repertoire, gay fashion show host Bruno from Austria, going to America again, Sacha will find fewer fans.

I personally laughed at Borat, but never felt the quality that everyone else did, maybe the years of enjoying the TV stuff made me hope it'd be more like that, and I was disappointed, especially in the staged stuff and unnecessary ending that's too un-documentary-like. Add to that everyone doing the catchphrases and it's a painful experience to watch now.

Bruno I never really liked, but I hoped it'd be so good and so big everyone would imitate him, suddenly thousands of Essex Lads revert from "I ain't a Queer" to "Oh vassup! Zat is incrediblech"
Alas no.

The fears of it being dire have been confirmed, for an 80 minute runtime the film felt about 1 hour 55 minutes long, and most of the first half of the film is all staged plot points, with an annoying character you can't like because he's never vulnerable enough, well, in one scene when his baby is taken away it's a nice dark moment, but nothing more than that, so we can't care about this senseless boob with nothing going on up here. (points to head)

So the basic premise is this, breathes in to say the whole long story, Austrian overtly gay correspondent Bruno loses his job in a screw up at Milan fashion week, goes to America to become famous, tries to act, tries to host a show, tries to bring peace to the middle east, tries to be charitable, ends up trying to be straight, falls in love with assistant.
And in all that they need some humour, but for it's runtime there's so much downtime between the set-pieces and jokes it's devastating, and many real moments feel too staged, including a moment where he refers to a cop as Paul Blart, a reference that wouldn't be made until after shooting had ended, thus ADR-ed later, destroying all chances of reality by too much post.

The real stuff ranges from the hysterical - A test audience watches a Bruno show where penises talk and swing and he dances in his undies, then he comes in and they aren't happy - to downright dull - a hunting party where a slight whiff of people annoyed by a gay man wanting to sleep near them naked, understandable really in those situations.

The ending sequence where Elton John, Chris Martin, Sting, Bono and Snoop Dogg record a charity song with Bruno isn't funny or interesting, they get the joke and are in on it, and is a tiresome extra 2 minutes on the runtime.

The worst thing is this film has no real agenda. Borat looked at racism in America through the eyes of a sweet foreign journalist, instead of hitting homophobia it's just one man trying to make homophobia, it's not smart and worst of all it's not funny.

A blinding bore, disappointment, and only one real "OH wow" moment, featuring a 'real terrorist', and he only clenches his fist and tells Bruno to get out.
5/10