Going in to the BFI's LFF Surprise Film knowing the film from the night prior's paid for screenings people saw, I was prepared to witness another Michael Moore documentary, a man I've been a fan of since I started really getting into cinema, Bowling for Columbine, Sicko and Roger & Me are truly amazing and re-watchable documentaries, however Fahrenheit 9/11 was easily his worst, a multi-tonged approach to a subject the public was already more on Moore's side than ambivalent to and unfocussed so much that it jumped around on ideas that led nowhere to prove points that had limited impact.
Alas Capitalism, a film which was worked on as Fahrenheit 9/11 1/2 is like the original, a multi-tonged unfocussed approach to the banking crash that we're all anti-banks with already, and sadly whilst it's hysterical at times, it's also rather dull, overlong by at least 40 minutes and gives no resolution or attempts to break through to important people like Charlton Heston in Columbine. Instead Moore has times where he's recognised, and criticised for his films, and gets no where, slowly.
Do we care about people being thrown out of the house when only tears and religion are used to go into peoples' psyche, and how many American flags do you need to see in one film?
Sadly Moore's latest is exactly like this review, half-hearted and uninterested in it's subject matter, in fact distracted by everything else, and boring like fuck.
5/10
Monday 26 October 2009
Friday 23 October 2009
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD, I saw it, it's alive, it's boring!
Blair Witch rocked the movie scene a decade ago, no budget camcorder horror about the power of suggestion that got everyone riled up. Then it subsided until 2007's [Rec] and subsequent, and shameless, English language remake Quarantine, add to that Cloverfield and Diary of the Dead, and forthcoming [Rec 2] (Quarantine 2: Quarantiner is out next year) and the also forthcoming The Fourth Kind and camcorder/true life horror is having another renaissance.
With this a no budget film form Sundance has been building buzz in recent months, about a couple who have a haunting in the house, using a camera to view it. Starting off normally, man turns on camera, abuses the camera by forcing it into conversation, awkwardly throws expositionary dialogue down and has two bad actors with no chemistry failing to make the one dimensional characters real like the film suggests, or even make the humour or scares work, it's a tired formula that you've seen time and time again, and here it's no different, it's painful, dull and slow.
Unlike the subtle trailer, the film goes for loud noises as jump scares to suggest forces of evil in the house, or if you're like me, loud noises outside that you just ignore. Or door movement that's clearly oh so freaking sinister.
I don't believe in the mumbo jumbo about ghosts 'n ghouls, demons and psychics, so maybe that's why the film didn't freak me out, send shivers down my spine or engage me at any point. Hell, from the beginning I knew which character I wanted to die, and which one was going to, they were not one and the same.
Horror is tough to do right, I recently caught Saw, a film people claimed to have revolutionised the horror genre. They don't notice it's purely a thriler, and the same is the case here, with it's tone it's slightly creepy, well, supposedly, but it's not about a horror stance, it's a thrill based film.
Alas it didn't work for me, but maybe you'll enjoy it. Anyway, horror still sucks as a whole, with only ambassador Raimi firing on all cylinders this year.
1/10
With this a no budget film form Sundance has been building buzz in recent months, about a couple who have a haunting in the house, using a camera to view it. Starting off normally, man turns on camera, abuses the camera by forcing it into conversation, awkwardly throws expositionary dialogue down and has two bad actors with no chemistry failing to make the one dimensional characters real like the film suggests, or even make the humour or scares work, it's a tired formula that you've seen time and time again, and here it's no different, it's painful, dull and slow.
Unlike the subtle trailer, the film goes for loud noises as jump scares to suggest forces of evil in the house, or if you're like me, loud noises outside that you just ignore. Or door movement that's clearly oh so freaking sinister.
I don't believe in the mumbo jumbo about ghosts 'n ghouls, demons and psychics, so maybe that's why the film didn't freak me out, send shivers down my spine or engage me at any point. Hell, from the beginning I knew which character I wanted to die, and which one was going to, they were not one and the same.
Horror is tough to do right, I recently caught Saw, a film people claimed to have revolutionised the horror genre. They don't notice it's purely a thriler, and the same is the case here, with it's tone it's slightly creepy, well, supposedly, but it's not about a horror stance, it's a thrill based film.
Alas it didn't work for me, but maybe you'll enjoy it. Anyway, horror still sucks as a whole, with only ambassador Raimi firing on all cylinders this year.
1/10
Wes Anderson, you know, for kids!
So here it is.
After years of work, and since Wes mentioned about Life Aquatic's stop motion fish that he wanted to work on a full feature in the style, he made it.
Filmed in the heart of the story, England, and featuring actual British actors as the humans, and Americans/Canadians for animals, we have Roald Dahl's The Fantastic Mr. Fox, as written by Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach. Now, to comprehend this film through my terms you need to understand where I'm coming from.
I've grown up from 10 to 19 on Anderson's portfolio, Rushmore, Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic, Darjeeling, Bottle Rocket, and as such have become one with his quirky, smart witty style of comedy, alongside Noah Baumbach, who I first became familiar with through Life Aquatic during a second viewing at 3 am, where the film really becomes pertinent. And subsequently second viewing of The Squid and The Whale made me adore that film, you can watch it again and again and each time focus one one character/team, brilliant. Margot at the Wedding was not the disaster everyone proclaimed, it was just even darker and leftfield than Squid.
So I'm up to snuff on these most awesome of indie movie makers, so imagine my surprise when I read the end credits and find it's not Anderson alone, ala Darjeeling, but with Baumbach that he co-wrote Mr. Fox, a film that is odd in all the wrong ways.
Yes the film looks great, has a homely charm indeed, but the characters are completely hollow and soulless, and with George Clooney and Meryl Streep's voices clearly too slick and American for the image, the film doesn't work on the vocal level. What about in humour? It's gonna be surreal, odd and yet human, right? No. No, instead of funny but true family problems we get 'cuss' as a running gag to replace fuck, shit and hell. To be fair it offers one of the film's two gags, in clustercuss.
But the only other gag is that Badger, Bill Murray in a very small role, has a mac behind him with post-its on it. That's it.
Who the film is made for is confusing as it's too wordy and complex for younger kids, not enough action and adventure for older kids, nothing vulgar for the teens and not smart enough for adults, they take their gags that aren't funny and instead of being patronising with them, run them into the ground or spell them out. It's not right, it's not what solid filmmaking and humour is about.
And the worst part about this film? It's 87 minutes and the film starts off feeling like it's going to have a lot of goings on, then about 2 reels in the main plot has been underway for ages, and the main plot is Mr. Fox wants to eat more chickens and feel rich, then he pisses off the farmers and puts all animals in the shit. And that's it, there's some unfunny, odd grenade and shooting sequences, but that's all the action, and the scope is so narrow it's almost no need to be animated, coulda just used real animals and got the same lack of emotions out of it.
I say this as an aficionado, the film is awful, truly awful, and it's sad that this is the case.
Avoid.
2/10
After years of work, and since Wes mentioned about Life Aquatic's stop motion fish that he wanted to work on a full feature in the style, he made it.
Filmed in the heart of the story, England, and featuring actual British actors as the humans, and Americans/Canadians for animals, we have Roald Dahl's The Fantastic Mr. Fox, as written by Wes Anderson and Noah Baumbach. Now, to comprehend this film through my terms you need to understand where I'm coming from.
I've grown up from 10 to 19 on Anderson's portfolio, Rushmore, Tenenbaums, Life Aquatic, Darjeeling, Bottle Rocket, and as such have become one with his quirky, smart witty style of comedy, alongside Noah Baumbach, who I first became familiar with through Life Aquatic during a second viewing at 3 am, where the film really becomes pertinent. And subsequently second viewing of The Squid and The Whale made me adore that film, you can watch it again and again and each time focus one one character/team, brilliant. Margot at the Wedding was not the disaster everyone proclaimed, it was just even darker and leftfield than Squid.
So I'm up to snuff on these most awesome of indie movie makers, so imagine my surprise when I read the end credits and find it's not Anderson alone, ala Darjeeling, but with Baumbach that he co-wrote Mr. Fox, a film that is odd in all the wrong ways.
Yes the film looks great, has a homely charm indeed, but the characters are completely hollow and soulless, and with George Clooney and Meryl Streep's voices clearly too slick and American for the image, the film doesn't work on the vocal level. What about in humour? It's gonna be surreal, odd and yet human, right? No. No, instead of funny but true family problems we get 'cuss' as a running gag to replace fuck, shit and hell. To be fair it offers one of the film's two gags, in clustercuss.
But the only other gag is that Badger, Bill Murray in a very small role, has a mac behind him with post-its on it. That's it.
Who the film is made for is confusing as it's too wordy and complex for younger kids, not enough action and adventure for older kids, nothing vulgar for the teens and not smart enough for adults, they take their gags that aren't funny and instead of being patronising with them, run them into the ground or spell them out. It's not right, it's not what solid filmmaking and humour is about.
And the worst part about this film? It's 87 minutes and the film starts off feeling like it's going to have a lot of goings on, then about 2 reels in the main plot has been underway for ages, and the main plot is Mr. Fox wants to eat more chickens and feel rich, then he pisses off the farmers and puts all animals in the shit. And that's it, there's some unfunny, odd grenade and shooting sequences, but that's all the action, and the scope is so narrow it's almost no need to be animated, coulda just used real animals and got the same lack of emotions out of it.
I say this as an aficionado, the film is awful, truly awful, and it's sad that this is the case.
Avoid.
2/10
Tuesday 20 October 2009
The Contrabulous Fabtraption Of Professor Horatio Huffnagel
Terry Gilliam returns with a ridiculously entitled film of The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus, wherein Christopher Plummer is a man made immortal by Tom Waits' devil, and beaten in a bet must give any 16 year old child to the Devil. He runs a small sideshow with friend Percy (Verne Troyer, also immortal it seems), his 15 year old daughter, Lily Cole, looking beautiful, and odd teenager Anton, Andrew Garfield. In the sideshow they offer people the chance to go through a mirror and into Parnassus' imagination, a weird brightly coloured CGI cartoon world that has all the delights you want, and the temptations placed by The Devil as well.
One day they see a man hanging under a bridge and bring him up, the man, Heath Ledger, has amnesia and is given the name George, until the papers fly by revealing he's front page news.
He works with the sideshow and rakes in money, but breaks rules, and ends up having a crush on Parnassus' daughter, who Anton has loved for ages, and it's a big ol' love triangle, as Parnassus is offered the chance to save his daughter by taking 5 souls before the Devil does. And so the film plays out.
Right there is about the first 45 minutes of the film, it takes time to understand what the hell is going on, so there it is, but surprisingly it doesn't annoy you, it's a wonder to enjoy the film play out, for a film where the trailers looked like abstract garbage it's a true delight to say the film in completion is absolutely hysterical, sometimes rather tense and almost consistently interesting, the film's final 15 minutes go on for a bit too long, but it's really interesting, especially when Heath Ledger goes through the mirror and becomes a new actor, a different face in his imagination.
The film is annoyingly good actually, it held my attention and appreciation throughout, though the CGI was off putting, the acting was hit and miss but the actors made the characters interesting and not simply one note, the direction is masterful and some of the designs are disturbingly surreal.
Overall Imaginarium is a real treat, a funny, smart and imaginative film that you should catch when possible.
9/10
One day they see a man hanging under a bridge and bring him up, the man, Heath Ledger, has amnesia and is given the name George, until the papers fly by revealing he's front page news.
He works with the sideshow and rakes in money, but breaks rules, and ends up having a crush on Parnassus' daughter, who Anton has loved for ages, and it's a big ol' love triangle, as Parnassus is offered the chance to save his daughter by taking 5 souls before the Devil does. And so the film plays out.
Right there is about the first 45 minutes of the film, it takes time to understand what the hell is going on, so there it is, but surprisingly it doesn't annoy you, it's a wonder to enjoy the film play out, for a film where the trailers looked like abstract garbage it's a true delight to say the film in completion is absolutely hysterical, sometimes rather tense and almost consistently interesting, the film's final 15 minutes go on for a bit too long, but it's really interesting, especially when Heath Ledger goes through the mirror and becomes a new actor, a different face in his imagination.
The film is annoyingly good actually, it held my attention and appreciation throughout, though the CGI was off putting, the acting was hit and miss but the actors made the characters interesting and not simply one note, the direction is masterful and some of the designs are disturbingly surreal.
Overall Imaginarium is a real treat, a funny, smart and imaginative film that you should catch when possible.
9/10
Ow My Bak 2!
Tony Jaa returns to his breakthrough performance in Ong Bak by making the sequel, entitled Ong Bak: The Beginning...
In this film we see Tony Jaa as a kid learning to fight so that he can kill the people who killed his parents, and learn about life along the way. From the same people who did the first they return with a lush looking sequel which has absolutely 0 originality in the plot and dialogue, subtitles badly coloured with white sometimes impossible to see because of the image behind it, fight sequences that are for the most part slow and uninviting and worst of all, there looks to be a lot more CGI in use this time, ruining the whole point of the original's gritty, simple, cheap style.
The sequel tries too hard to be a serious drama with action, involving a kid fighting a fucking crocodile, and it's ultimately a very boring, mundane, plain action drama with no elegance or interest, a complete and utter disappointment from Tony Jaa, who should do more modern day based action films, get away from the misplaced period settings most action titles abuse nowadays.
3/10
In this film we see Tony Jaa as a kid learning to fight so that he can kill the people who killed his parents, and learn about life along the way. From the same people who did the first they return with a lush looking sequel which has absolutely 0 originality in the plot and dialogue, subtitles badly coloured with white sometimes impossible to see because of the image behind it, fight sequences that are for the most part slow and uninviting and worst of all, there looks to be a lot more CGI in use this time, ruining the whole point of the original's gritty, simple, cheap style.
The sequel tries too hard to be a serious drama with action, involving a kid fighting a fucking crocodile, and it's ultimately a very boring, mundane, plain action drama with no elegance or interest, a complete and utter disappointment from Tony Jaa, who should do more modern day based action films, get away from the misplaced period settings most action titles abuse nowadays.
3/10
Friday 16 October 2009
Happiness 2: Happinesser?
How does one summarise Life During Wartime for the uninitiated and sustain the shock of the original film's dark, twisted nature and taboo breaking subjects?
Todd Solondz has consistently made awkward, dark films that had amazingly funny moments that change tone to the dramatic, pushing melodramatic, so perfectly, and with Happiness he went all out, a child's attempts to masturbate all the way to the climax, his father's horrible fetish and how he goes about getting what he wants, a bright young woman who searches for happiness and ends up in a string of bad relationships, a poet who can't write as she's never been raped and a woman who murdered then cut up a doorman who raped her.
For a comedy drama it's particularly in depth and at times graphic, with many dark moments.
Fortunately this follow up doesn't go down those roads. The closest to a young boy and his dad talking about topics in a frank manner that is close to the bone if not past it is exchanged for a small conversation between Trish, now played by the wonderful Allison Janney, telling her young son Timmy, who was young in the first, now almost 13, about her date with a man getting her wet.
The film opens in a rather genius mode, almost shot for shot like the original, the opening titles with the white frames, the new Joy, a 40 year old married to an ex-con who reveals he still phones up random girls to get himself off, after giving Joy the same ashtray Jon Lovitz hands her in Happiness' opening sequence.
Hell, Lovitz's character offs himself in the first one but returns as a ghost, in the form of the magnificent Paul Reubans, to talk to Joy and try to convince her they are the perfect couple.
Ultimately though, Joy, who had a lot of the last film, is only handed a small segment of the 96 minute runtime, instead it's focussed on Trish moving on from Bill, now portrayed by Ciaran Hinds as a believable prison serving change from Dylan Baker's daring performance. Bill is out of prison and stalking the family to see what he is left to do, whilst Trish has found a new man, a sweet, kind but slightly older gentleman.
Timmy is gearing up for his Bar Mitzvah and suddenly learns his dad isn't dead like his mother told him, but actually still in prison, or he thinks he is even when he's just outside, and finds out what Bill did in the first film.
The film boils down to simple conversations, some very dark moments as always, and some out and out hysterical stuff, but given it's brief runtime in comparison to the 135 minute original the film seems slight, we go to places but it's more a Before Sunset glimpse than a Clerks II. full on here they are, and they are going on another journey. The acting is universally solid, never perfect, but never awful, the re-casting is odd but adds to the freedom Solondz gives the characters to change their lives instead of sticking in the rut of the original. Whilst the choice of Timmy looking oddly like Billy's friend Johnny, the first victim in the original, is rather distracting, to the point that a talk between College aged Billy, played by Linus from Fanboys, about Bonobos and incest seems rather, well, horrible.
For a film I was interested in from the get go but apprehensive about the approach, the tone and if Solondz would Crank 2 it and go for more taboos to break instead of character, I was relieved when it was all about real life people in situations, be it real or surreal, using humour and drama to perfection, it's a perfectly imperfect film that won't go down well in the mainstream, you need to see Happiness before seeing this film, and as there's still no distributor (A blank slate at the start of the film where it'd be) it'll be great to see the film get out to people.
And the HD will looks great, shot using Red cameras the depth and definition is remarkable, made me appreciate Solondz as a visual as well as witty writer/director.
If you can, I recommend seeing this film, it's funny, well made and rather brilliant in it's own way, just too darn short.
8/10
Todd Solondz has consistently made awkward, dark films that had amazingly funny moments that change tone to the dramatic, pushing melodramatic, so perfectly, and with Happiness he went all out, a child's attempts to masturbate all the way to the climax, his father's horrible fetish and how he goes about getting what he wants, a bright young woman who searches for happiness and ends up in a string of bad relationships, a poet who can't write as she's never been raped and a woman who murdered then cut up a doorman who raped her.
For a comedy drama it's particularly in depth and at times graphic, with many dark moments.
Fortunately this follow up doesn't go down those roads. The closest to a young boy and his dad talking about topics in a frank manner that is close to the bone if not past it is exchanged for a small conversation between Trish, now played by the wonderful Allison Janney, telling her young son Timmy, who was young in the first, now almost 13, about her date with a man getting her wet.
The film opens in a rather genius mode, almost shot for shot like the original, the opening titles with the white frames, the new Joy, a 40 year old married to an ex-con who reveals he still phones up random girls to get himself off, after giving Joy the same ashtray Jon Lovitz hands her in Happiness' opening sequence.
Hell, Lovitz's character offs himself in the first one but returns as a ghost, in the form of the magnificent Paul Reubans, to talk to Joy and try to convince her they are the perfect couple.
Ultimately though, Joy, who had a lot of the last film, is only handed a small segment of the 96 minute runtime, instead it's focussed on Trish moving on from Bill, now portrayed by Ciaran Hinds as a believable prison serving change from Dylan Baker's daring performance. Bill is out of prison and stalking the family to see what he is left to do, whilst Trish has found a new man, a sweet, kind but slightly older gentleman.
Timmy is gearing up for his Bar Mitzvah and suddenly learns his dad isn't dead like his mother told him, but actually still in prison, or he thinks he is even when he's just outside, and finds out what Bill did in the first film.
The film boils down to simple conversations, some very dark moments as always, and some out and out hysterical stuff, but given it's brief runtime in comparison to the 135 minute original the film seems slight, we go to places but it's more a Before Sunset glimpse than a Clerks II. full on here they are, and they are going on another journey. The acting is universally solid, never perfect, but never awful, the re-casting is odd but adds to the freedom Solondz gives the characters to change their lives instead of sticking in the rut of the original. Whilst the choice of Timmy looking oddly like Billy's friend Johnny, the first victim in the original, is rather distracting, to the point that a talk between College aged Billy, played by Linus from Fanboys, about Bonobos and incest seems rather, well, horrible.
For a film I was interested in from the get go but apprehensive about the approach, the tone and if Solondz would Crank 2 it and go for more taboos to break instead of character, I was relieved when it was all about real life people in situations, be it real or surreal, using humour and drama to perfection, it's a perfectly imperfect film that won't go down well in the mainstream, you need to see Happiness before seeing this film, and as there's still no distributor (A blank slate at the start of the film where it'd be) it'll be great to see the film get out to people.
And the HD will looks great, shot using Red cameras the depth and definition is remarkable, made me appreciate Solondz as a visual as well as witty writer/director.
If you can, I recommend seeing this film, it's funny, well made and rather brilliant in it's own way, just too darn short.
8/10
Tuesday 13 October 2009
Hey, I'm Vince Vaughn, and I'm gonna bang your mom, chim chim cherroo.
Another year and another Vince Vaughn pic is released, subsequent classics include Wedding Crashers, The Break-Up,Fred Claus and Four Christmases. This year he's avoided going for another festive cheer comedy, and by festive cheer I mean lacking any warmth or humanity, and by comedy I mean Vince Vaughn spluttering American pop-culture quotes and fast food joints that only are in America to no avail.
Instead he's brought in heavyweights in the shape of Jason Bateman, Jon Faverau, Kristen Bell, Malin Akerman, Jean Reno, John Michael Higgins, Ken Jeong and the ever awesome Peter Serafinowictz (Serowikz to the BBC announcer who fucked his name up the other day)
Couples Retreat sees four couples go to paradise to have relationship counseling even though only one couple want to do it, and they all find, shock horror, they might not be where they should in their relationships. So Faverau and his wife go cheating, Faizon Love and his 2 week 20 year old girlfriend split up, Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman contemplate what they are doing wrong and Kristen Bell and Jason Bateman argue and act like uptight twits.
Being that it's Hollywood the 4 relationships all have happy endings, Faizon gets back together with his wife, Bell and Bateman get back together even after Bell willingly leaps out of a boat to swim away from Bateman, marking the end of their relationship, even Faverau and his wife, who always cheat on each other, love each other.
Why? Because that makes everyone happy right?
Well, when a film offers not one but two scenes where a kid defecates in a bathroom showroom toilet, and has said kid and his brother do the 'go and have this holiday' speech for the parents, you question why you are sitting in this shitty cinema watching a horrible film like this.
Even Jean Reno, Ken Jeong, John Michael Higgins and Sir Peter Serafinowicz can't save this film solid heavy hitters and funny people, well, Jean Reno is more awesome than funny, but still.
The film reeks of desperation, and once again it's all about Vince Vaughn mugging for screentime to get 'laughs' which, you'll be glad to hear, weren't embraced by the audience.
This truly is as painful an experience as Vaughn's Christmas themed films, if you find anything funny in this film then you, sir, are an idiot.
1/10
Instead he's brought in heavyweights in the shape of Jason Bateman, Jon Faverau, Kristen Bell, Malin Akerman, Jean Reno, John Michael Higgins, Ken Jeong and the ever awesome Peter Serafinowictz (Serowikz to the BBC announcer who fucked his name up the other day)
Couples Retreat sees four couples go to paradise to have relationship counseling even though only one couple want to do it, and they all find, shock horror, they might not be where they should in their relationships. So Faverau and his wife go cheating, Faizon Love and his 2 week 20 year old girlfriend split up, Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman contemplate what they are doing wrong and Kristen Bell and Jason Bateman argue and act like uptight twits.
Being that it's Hollywood the 4 relationships all have happy endings, Faizon gets back together with his wife, Bell and Bateman get back together even after Bell willingly leaps out of a boat to swim away from Bateman, marking the end of their relationship, even Faverau and his wife, who always cheat on each other, love each other.
Why? Because that makes everyone happy right?
Well, when a film offers not one but two scenes where a kid defecates in a bathroom showroom toilet, and has said kid and his brother do the 'go and have this holiday' speech for the parents, you question why you are sitting in this shitty cinema watching a horrible film like this.
Even Jean Reno, Ken Jeong, John Michael Higgins and Sir Peter Serafinowicz can't save this film solid heavy hitters and funny people, well, Jean Reno is more awesome than funny, but still.
The film reeks of desperation, and once again it's all about Vince Vaughn mugging for screentime to get 'laughs' which, you'll be glad to hear, weren't embraced by the audience.
This truly is as painful an experience as Vaughn's Christmas themed films, if you find anything funny in this film then you, sir, are an idiot.
1/10
Monday 12 October 2009
Thoughts on cinema of 2009
Whilst the year is certainly not over, we still have hopeful masterpieces from The Coen Brothers, Richard Kelly, Guy Ritchie and Roland Emmerich, I can, however, comment on the year so far, from January 1st's screening of The Spirit, where I was so bloody tempted to walk out but I wanted a clean record, to Last Thursday's Zombieland screening, where me and two other people sat laughing and clapping as the rest of the audience were in silence, probably wondering why the Jewish kid was talking so much, and why none of the characters were unlikeable and thus killed off in increasingly tired ways.
January did start shitly, I mean, Frank Miller fucked up didn't he. But it had high points, David Wain's Role Models is a dry, witty comedy that shows why Paul Rudd should be a leading man, soon cancelled out by the low-brow I Love You, Man, which should have worked given Jason Segal is pure man. January slipped in some Oscar bait, in the much loved Mamma Mia od the Oscar season, Slumdog Millionaire, and Kate Winslet's double bill, The Reader and Revolutionary Road. All three were depressing, mostly because they were so well received despite being complete bollocks,more so than the usual Oscar fare, which I have found is not too bad sometimes. Last King Of Scotland wasn't as good on DVD but had an impact in the cinema, yet these films got such a critical glistening it's hard to believe critics anymore, which leads on to one of the most shameful films of the year, and the first complete let down of 2009.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. I love David Fincher, Zodiac is a complete masterpiece and unfairly overlooked by the Academy, Button had a 5 star review from Empire, Doubt only got 3 for goodness sake, and what was Button? A 2 hour 40 minute film about an un-extraordinary life lived by a man who grows young instead of old, besides the one quirk it's as mundane as could be comprehended, why is this deemed a masterpiece? I will never know, but it stands to reason that the writer also did the abysmal Forest Gump, where Tom Hanks mugs it for an Oscar like he's Jamie Foxx.
February did, however, offer up a film that I thought would probably be shit, but turned out to be THE best comic book adaptation of the year, in Ray Stevenson's Punisher: War Zone. Colin Salmon calls cops "Krispy Kreme Motherfuckers" nuff said. On top of that two unfortunate films that slipped under the radar or weren't appreciated like they could have been, Cadillac Records and Push, came out, Push was solid fun, and whilst rather plot heavy, was good fun, and Cadillac Records was a solid, by-the-numbers musical bio that at least gave the feeling of the era.
March was geek heaven though, Watchmen finally came to cinemas, and yes, it was good, great in fact, but it's pacing issues and the last hour being slightly too plot heavy after the hour and a half flashbacks, squishing too many chapters together in the end and changing the ending affected the film, the Director's Cut didn't do a bad job of just calming the film down and adding more. Hollis Mason's death scene in particular was always missed in the cinema, twice on opening day I got up from my seat and felt it needed that added emotion for Dan.
March offered up a new English film in Bronson, a dark experimental comedy drama horror bio of a violent prisoner, played by Tom Hardy, who in his groundbreaking role got fat, naked and called everyone a cunt before punching them, that's all the film was, 100 minutes of a vulgar, violent twat with nothing interesting to say.
Richard Curtis brought out a new film too, with The Boat That Rocked, which is now coming out in America under the title Pirate Radio. Philip Seymour Hoffman and Chris O'Dowd save what could have been a painfully shit music loving film with some good comedy and drama, and even at 2 hours 15 minutes it still had lots of good moments, though the stiff upper lip English sequences involving a character called 'Twatt' were just awful stuff.
Fortunately Paul Blart was on it's way out, and whilst it was by no means perfect, it did well and secured the brilliant Kevin James a lead role from now on. And it was rather funny, Die Hard in a Mall was simple enough, and Blart was a well crafted character a sweet man who is overweight but knows it as a problem, I can understand.
April appeared with the second big CGI film, after the disaster that was Bolt, with Dreamworks' Monsters Vs Aliens, a film so painfully unfunny, padded with weak pop culture jokes that kill humour and with characters so devastatingly dull there's no point in seeing if they complete the film's 'plot', a true waste after last year's Kung Fu Panda showed that Dreamworks COULD make smart, funny films without resorting to pop culture riffs.
Again it was England's chance to save the day, Jason Statham appeared in hilarity inducing insanity sequel Crank 2, which one upped every single scene in the original, sometimes it was too much and became annoying, but it has the homemade charm that adds to the style.
Even with Jody Hill proving that it was Danny McBride and Ben Best that did the worst stuff in Foot Fist Way and Eastbound and Down, Observe and Report unfortunately flopped, it's a cult film to be sure, dark, vulgar but hilarious.
But the best comedy was almost completely home-grown, Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel is a hysterical 80 minute film about 3 geeks who know too much about sci-fi rules that when they accidentally find themselves going between 30 minutes ago and 5000 years in the future, they know exactly how to go about business without destroying the universe, once again it's all about Chris O'Dowd and his comic genius.
In The Loop, though, really shot out. The Thick Of It spin-off and feature debut for comedic master Armando Iannucci, In The Loop had everything we loved from the show, sweary Malcolm Tucker and his bloodhound Jamie, nerdy but sharply funny Chris Addison, but it added the dynamics of the US government in the lead up to the Iraq war, and all the lies and bullshit from both sides. Genius.
May arrived with the first group of summer blockbusters. The leaked-a-month-before-release Wolverine wasn't anywhere near as fun with the, ahem, 'completed' CGI, though the claws, Wolverine's one main weapon, were hilariously bad, the whole film was too serious, too dull and painfully slow. Star Trek got a lorra lorra love, but it really was bad, Star Wars with Kirk and Spock, not a reinvention as much as stealing from better films and clunking them together in an appalling way. The villain was dull, the characters were one dimensional, the humour was painful and the film was one of the worst experiences of the year.
Angels and Demons, however, diverted shit summer to good stuff, with a larger, faster paced, well done thriller, instead of a drama, where Tom Hanks almost died, and Ewan McGregor was a priest who jumps out of exploding helicopters. Good shit, and the Blu Ray certainly adds with it's extended cut, more violence is always welcome.
Drag Me To Hell proved Raimi still has the horror gene, Up was a let down after WALL-E but the best CGI film of the year and Synecdoche, New York, well, it was not as good as at the LFF.
June opened with the completely humourless The Hangover, from the pens of the writers of Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past and Four Christmases. McG's Terminator 4 bored it's way through the summer, a dull, loud film that added nothing to the universe, the film's or our universe, your choice.
John Woo's Red Cliff finally came out, condensed into 2 hours 33, but still a cracker, visually beautiful, tense and full of great action, it lost a lot of character development, I'm guessing the additional 1 hour 45 minutes adds that stuff. Transformers was the same runtime and had EVEN LESS Character development, the film was painfully stupid beyond the realms of most Michael Bay films, no more Baytardation, it was full retard.
And Year One gave Harold Ramis' career the cyanide pill it needed for a long time now.
Ice Age 3 was a rather silly but entertaining hour and a half, some awful stuff mixed with good gems, but following that, Michael Mann's latest, Public Enemies, was a loud empty shell of a film, everything was there except any character depth or heart.
Moon brought Duncan Jones to the forefront with an amazingly and deceptively simple film that was hilarious, dark, tragic and constantly interesting, Sam Rockwell has always been and will continue to be an actor who deserves recognition.
In the opposite spectrum, Sacha Baron Cohen used his last remaining character for mock doc Bruno, which spent 40 minutes of the 80 minute runtime to set up a plot for no reason that it was all staged and uninteresting.
Even Will Ferrel's latest, Land Of The Lost, was a loud, stupid and painful hour and a half, comedy failed this summer.
Thankfully Tony Scott's Pelham 123 remake was a solid job, nicely stylised and entertaining, he is back to Man On fire quality.
August opening with GI Joe, a massive piece of cunt that had no humour, plot, CGI or idea of what quality is. District 9 also came out early on, a well received film that sadly is far too cliched and feels off by the time the mockumentary style is abandoned.
Judd Apatow's Funny People finally made it's way to cinemas, a 2 hour 25 minute comedy drama that had no interesting or funny characters at all, a waste of time. Unlike Tarantino's latest, a self-indulgent but rather entertaining version of what might have happened to the Nazis if Quentin was in charge of it all.
The Hurt Locker snuck out with critical love and limited PR, and showed that even at 57 Katherine Bigelow is an amazing director, very tense stuff for a 2 odd hour film.
David R. Ellis returned to finish The Final Destination series in 3-D with lots of shitty CGI but undeniable fun in it's stupidity. On the other hand, (500) Days Of Summer was a witty, quirky and brilliant comedy about romance, and how shit it all is. Amazing soundtrack too.
In the opposite corner from that is Away We Go, a film about the best couple in the world, purely sweet and calm, with an exceptional soundtrack, Away We Go was the best Mendes film of the year, take that Revolutionary Road, or indeed ever.
Dorian Gray was a massive failure of a film from Ealing Studios, a slow horror with no tension or a sex drama with no eroticism or character depth. Fish Tank, however, had lots of character depth and development, and whilst losing itself in the last 45 minutes was still a well made drama.
Julie & Julia proved that Meryl Streep is awesome, as is Jane Lynch, and whilst her Doubt co-star Amy Adams had a good year, with Night At The Museum 2 as well earlier, she couldn't make a mundane plot interesting.
The Crank team were back with Gamer, a silly, dark violent action film tarring Scottish man Gerard Butler, and whilst it didn't light up the box office it was entertaining enough. Sony Animation's next release post-masterpiece Surf's Up, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, was harmless fun, and had funny moments, but wasn't perfect, still, it made lots of money, sequel set for next August.
Surrogates showed that Jonathon Mostow and the Terminator 3/4 and Catwoman writers must be shot, and Bruce Willis likes paychecks, the same is said for Invention of Lying, a painfully dull, unfunny film that needed 5 re-writes and no Jennifer Garner.
But the highlight of October has been Zombieland, Jesse Eisenberg forgives the awful Adventreland with this, and if you still haven't seen it, why are you reading this, CATCH IT!
To be honest, the rest of the year looks shit, so we'll see how it goes, but so far it's been a large mess.
January did start shitly, I mean, Frank Miller fucked up didn't he. But it had high points, David Wain's Role Models is a dry, witty comedy that shows why Paul Rudd should be a leading man, soon cancelled out by the low-brow I Love You, Man, which should have worked given Jason Segal is pure man. January slipped in some Oscar bait, in the much loved Mamma Mia od the Oscar season, Slumdog Millionaire, and Kate Winslet's double bill, The Reader and Revolutionary Road. All three were depressing, mostly because they were so well received despite being complete bollocks,more so than the usual Oscar fare, which I have found is not too bad sometimes. Last King Of Scotland wasn't as good on DVD but had an impact in the cinema, yet these films got such a critical glistening it's hard to believe critics anymore, which leads on to one of the most shameful films of the year, and the first complete let down of 2009.
The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button. I love David Fincher, Zodiac is a complete masterpiece and unfairly overlooked by the Academy, Button had a 5 star review from Empire, Doubt only got 3 for goodness sake, and what was Button? A 2 hour 40 minute film about an un-extraordinary life lived by a man who grows young instead of old, besides the one quirk it's as mundane as could be comprehended, why is this deemed a masterpiece? I will never know, but it stands to reason that the writer also did the abysmal Forest Gump, where Tom Hanks mugs it for an Oscar like he's Jamie Foxx.
February did, however, offer up a film that I thought would probably be shit, but turned out to be THE best comic book adaptation of the year, in Ray Stevenson's Punisher: War Zone. Colin Salmon calls cops "Krispy Kreme Motherfuckers" nuff said. On top of that two unfortunate films that slipped under the radar or weren't appreciated like they could have been, Cadillac Records and Push, came out, Push was solid fun, and whilst rather plot heavy, was good fun, and Cadillac Records was a solid, by-the-numbers musical bio that at least gave the feeling of the era.
March was geek heaven though, Watchmen finally came to cinemas, and yes, it was good, great in fact, but it's pacing issues and the last hour being slightly too plot heavy after the hour and a half flashbacks, squishing too many chapters together in the end and changing the ending affected the film, the Director's Cut didn't do a bad job of just calming the film down and adding more. Hollis Mason's death scene in particular was always missed in the cinema, twice on opening day I got up from my seat and felt it needed that added emotion for Dan.
March offered up a new English film in Bronson, a dark experimental comedy drama horror bio of a violent prisoner, played by Tom Hardy, who in his groundbreaking role got fat, naked and called everyone a cunt before punching them, that's all the film was, 100 minutes of a vulgar, violent twat with nothing interesting to say.
Richard Curtis brought out a new film too, with The Boat That Rocked, which is now coming out in America under the title Pirate Radio. Philip Seymour Hoffman and Chris O'Dowd save what could have been a painfully shit music loving film with some good comedy and drama, and even at 2 hours 15 minutes it still had lots of good moments, though the stiff upper lip English sequences involving a character called 'Twatt' were just awful stuff.
Fortunately Paul Blart was on it's way out, and whilst it was by no means perfect, it did well and secured the brilliant Kevin James a lead role from now on. And it was rather funny, Die Hard in a Mall was simple enough, and Blart was a well crafted character a sweet man who is overweight but knows it as a problem, I can understand.
April appeared with the second big CGI film, after the disaster that was Bolt, with Dreamworks' Monsters Vs Aliens, a film so painfully unfunny, padded with weak pop culture jokes that kill humour and with characters so devastatingly dull there's no point in seeing if they complete the film's 'plot', a true waste after last year's Kung Fu Panda showed that Dreamworks COULD make smart, funny films without resorting to pop culture riffs.
Again it was England's chance to save the day, Jason Statham appeared in hilarity inducing insanity sequel Crank 2, which one upped every single scene in the original, sometimes it was too much and became annoying, but it has the homemade charm that adds to the style.
Even with Jody Hill proving that it was Danny McBride and Ben Best that did the worst stuff in Foot Fist Way and Eastbound and Down, Observe and Report unfortunately flopped, it's a cult film to be sure, dark, vulgar but hilarious.
But the best comedy was almost completely home-grown, Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel is a hysterical 80 minute film about 3 geeks who know too much about sci-fi rules that when they accidentally find themselves going between 30 minutes ago and 5000 years in the future, they know exactly how to go about business without destroying the universe, once again it's all about Chris O'Dowd and his comic genius.
In The Loop, though, really shot out. The Thick Of It spin-off and feature debut for comedic master Armando Iannucci, In The Loop had everything we loved from the show, sweary Malcolm Tucker and his bloodhound Jamie, nerdy but sharply funny Chris Addison, but it added the dynamics of the US government in the lead up to the Iraq war, and all the lies and bullshit from both sides. Genius.
May arrived with the first group of summer blockbusters. The leaked-a-month-before-release Wolverine wasn't anywhere near as fun with the, ahem, 'completed' CGI, though the claws, Wolverine's one main weapon, were hilariously bad, the whole film was too serious, too dull and painfully slow. Star Trek got a lorra lorra love, but it really was bad, Star Wars with Kirk and Spock, not a reinvention as much as stealing from better films and clunking them together in an appalling way. The villain was dull, the characters were one dimensional, the humour was painful and the film was one of the worst experiences of the year.
Angels and Demons, however, diverted shit summer to good stuff, with a larger, faster paced, well done thriller, instead of a drama, where Tom Hanks almost died, and Ewan McGregor was a priest who jumps out of exploding helicopters. Good shit, and the Blu Ray certainly adds with it's extended cut, more violence is always welcome.
Drag Me To Hell proved Raimi still has the horror gene, Up was a let down after WALL-E but the best CGI film of the year and Synecdoche, New York, well, it was not as good as at the LFF.
June opened with the completely humourless The Hangover, from the pens of the writers of Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past and Four Christmases. McG's Terminator 4 bored it's way through the summer, a dull, loud film that added nothing to the universe, the film's or our universe, your choice.
John Woo's Red Cliff finally came out, condensed into 2 hours 33, but still a cracker, visually beautiful, tense and full of great action, it lost a lot of character development, I'm guessing the additional 1 hour 45 minutes adds that stuff. Transformers was the same runtime and had EVEN LESS Character development, the film was painfully stupid beyond the realms of most Michael Bay films, no more Baytardation, it was full retard.
And Year One gave Harold Ramis' career the cyanide pill it needed for a long time now.
Ice Age 3 was a rather silly but entertaining hour and a half, some awful stuff mixed with good gems, but following that, Michael Mann's latest, Public Enemies, was a loud empty shell of a film, everything was there except any character depth or heart.
Moon brought Duncan Jones to the forefront with an amazingly and deceptively simple film that was hilarious, dark, tragic and constantly interesting, Sam Rockwell has always been and will continue to be an actor who deserves recognition.
In the opposite spectrum, Sacha Baron Cohen used his last remaining character for mock doc Bruno, which spent 40 minutes of the 80 minute runtime to set up a plot for no reason that it was all staged and uninteresting.
Even Will Ferrel's latest, Land Of The Lost, was a loud, stupid and painful hour and a half, comedy failed this summer.
Thankfully Tony Scott's Pelham 123 remake was a solid job, nicely stylised and entertaining, he is back to Man On fire quality.
August opening with GI Joe, a massive piece of cunt that had no humour, plot, CGI or idea of what quality is. District 9 also came out early on, a well received film that sadly is far too cliched and feels off by the time the mockumentary style is abandoned.
Judd Apatow's Funny People finally made it's way to cinemas, a 2 hour 25 minute comedy drama that had no interesting or funny characters at all, a waste of time. Unlike Tarantino's latest, a self-indulgent but rather entertaining version of what might have happened to the Nazis if Quentin was in charge of it all.
The Hurt Locker snuck out with critical love and limited PR, and showed that even at 57 Katherine Bigelow is an amazing director, very tense stuff for a 2 odd hour film.
David R. Ellis returned to finish The Final Destination series in 3-D with lots of shitty CGI but undeniable fun in it's stupidity. On the other hand, (500) Days Of Summer was a witty, quirky and brilliant comedy about romance, and how shit it all is. Amazing soundtrack too.
In the opposite corner from that is Away We Go, a film about the best couple in the world, purely sweet and calm, with an exceptional soundtrack, Away We Go was the best Mendes film of the year, take that Revolutionary Road, or indeed ever.
Dorian Gray was a massive failure of a film from Ealing Studios, a slow horror with no tension or a sex drama with no eroticism or character depth. Fish Tank, however, had lots of character depth and development, and whilst losing itself in the last 45 minutes was still a well made drama.
Julie & Julia proved that Meryl Streep is awesome, as is Jane Lynch, and whilst her Doubt co-star Amy Adams had a good year, with Night At The Museum 2 as well earlier, she couldn't make a mundane plot interesting.
The Crank team were back with Gamer, a silly, dark violent action film tarring Scottish man Gerard Butler, and whilst it didn't light up the box office it was entertaining enough. Sony Animation's next release post-masterpiece Surf's Up, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs, was harmless fun, and had funny moments, but wasn't perfect, still, it made lots of money, sequel set for next August.
Surrogates showed that Jonathon Mostow and the Terminator 3/4 and Catwoman writers must be shot, and Bruce Willis likes paychecks, the same is said for Invention of Lying, a painfully dull, unfunny film that needed 5 re-writes and no Jennifer Garner.
But the highlight of October has been Zombieland, Jesse Eisenberg forgives the awful Adventreland with this, and if you still haven't seen it, why are you reading this, CATCH IT!
To be honest, the rest of the year looks shit, so we'll see how it goes, but so far it's been a large mess.
Thursday 8 October 2009
Don't say that, the, the Z word, it's ridiculous.
Zombieland is probably a marmite film, in that you either love how silly it all is, and yet enjoy the wonderfully fleshed out human characters and the horrors they face, with some incredible style, more later, or you have no soul and call it generic trash or a broader and worse Shaun Of The Dead. To the haters I say this. Fuck you.
Ok, this is a review that I will be very passionate about, so if you're reading this and saw the film thinking it sucked, the cross at the top of this window, there's the door, don't let it hit you on the mangina as you exit, fucking idiot, you have no idea what constitutes pure silly awesome entertainment, and somehow Zombieland offer Shoot 'Em Up style insanity of action with Crank's style of visuals, text interacting wonderfully with the environment, and the character development and dialogue from the best indie comedies of the last 20 years.
Zombieland focuses on Jesse Eisenberg, a college kid alone in the US as a zombie outbreak has whittled the population to none, until Woody Harrelson's trigger happy bad boy appears, and from there on in instead of a cumpulsive kid's zombie adventure it's a chalk and cheese road trip, using the towns they want to get to as their names so as not to get too close lest they need to kill one another later, as Harrelson hunts a Twinkie, and Eisenberg his family. That is until sisters Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin come into play, grifting their way to a new car and guns, eventually getting stuck with the male duo as they all head to LA, and to an amusement park that is supposedly zombie free.
In between the dialogue there are zombie attacks, cuts to backstories, one including Amber Heard as a sexy girl next door turned zombie, another with Mike White being conned out of $400, though we see him killed on the bog earlier on, poor guy gets it rough, and some fun stuff, including a 'Zombie Kill Of The Week' moment. Mixing four amazing actors with a fantastic script and some great songs makes this hour and a half film so fulfilling, you get the scares of horror, the gore of zombie films, wonderful wit mixed with some rather crass moments and some epic action.
One genius segment involves going to a certain celebrity's house and staying there, until he appears, allowing Harrelson and Stone to act in scenes from one of his films, hysterical stuff. Yes the Eisenberg virgin trying to find love story has been done to death, hell, he's had at least 4 films where that's his character's goal, but in a zombie film it really makes it more interesting, and I will say this, the film's ending is not what I expected, especially with a Custer's last stand type scenario, but more for a sequel I guess.
Zombieland is a painfully hysterical, genuinely well made film with some solid scary moments, cracking violence, great actors and lots of giggles between the big laughs, a must see, seriously, SEE THIS FRAKKING MOVIE!
10/10
Ok, this is a review that I will be very passionate about, so if you're reading this and saw the film thinking it sucked, the cross at the top of this window, there's the door, don't let it hit you on the mangina as you exit, fucking idiot, you have no idea what constitutes pure silly awesome entertainment, and somehow Zombieland offer Shoot 'Em Up style insanity of action with Crank's style of visuals, text interacting wonderfully with the environment, and the character development and dialogue from the best indie comedies of the last 20 years.
Zombieland focuses on Jesse Eisenberg, a college kid alone in the US as a zombie outbreak has whittled the population to none, until Woody Harrelson's trigger happy bad boy appears, and from there on in instead of a cumpulsive kid's zombie adventure it's a chalk and cheese road trip, using the towns they want to get to as their names so as not to get too close lest they need to kill one another later, as Harrelson hunts a Twinkie, and Eisenberg his family. That is until sisters Emma Stone and Abigail Breslin come into play, grifting their way to a new car and guns, eventually getting stuck with the male duo as they all head to LA, and to an amusement park that is supposedly zombie free.
In between the dialogue there are zombie attacks, cuts to backstories, one including Amber Heard as a sexy girl next door turned zombie, another with Mike White being conned out of $400, though we see him killed on the bog earlier on, poor guy gets it rough, and some fun stuff, including a 'Zombie Kill Of The Week' moment. Mixing four amazing actors with a fantastic script and some great songs makes this hour and a half film so fulfilling, you get the scares of horror, the gore of zombie films, wonderful wit mixed with some rather crass moments and some epic action.
One genius segment involves going to a certain celebrity's house and staying there, until he appears, allowing Harrelson and Stone to act in scenes from one of his films, hysterical stuff. Yes the Eisenberg virgin trying to find love story has been done to death, hell, he's had at least 4 films where that's his character's goal, but in a zombie film it really makes it more interesting, and I will say this, the film's ending is not what I expected, especially with a Custer's last stand type scenario, but more for a sequel I guess.
Zombieland is a painfully hysterical, genuinely well made film with some solid scary moments, cracking violence, great actors and lots of giggles between the big laughs, a must see, seriously, SEE THIS FRAKKING MOVIE!
10/10
Monday 5 October 2009
Look Marge, there's the truth *shake head* and The Truth *nod approvingly.
Ricky Gervais returns for a second lead role in a rom-com American mainstream film, this time, unlike Ghost Town, he co-wrote and co-directed This Side OF The Truth, renamed The Invention Of Lying, and it's truly shocking. Ghost Town had some middle of the road reviews but the film itself was a wonderful, hysterical and ultimately beautifully emotional movie that was ridiculously well made in the beginning of a shitstorm of bad films that we're still in.
But this year he brings in the full force of disappointment, With an unknown co-writer/director and a high concept idea, a World that tells no lies, which is presented in shit narration from Gervais, where he badmouths opening credits and calls them unimportant, trying to be funny but not true at the same time. The whole concept is flawed as the film goes on, yes it's a world without lies, but why do people feel the need to blurt out their inner thoughts, they must have learnt self-control and restraint over the generations. Music and poetry makes little sense in the World either, it'd not really have anything interesting, and all the technology they have/all the history humanity has is confusing, without religion there'd be few wars, and thus not so much in the way of leaps in technology, so getting to where we are now without lying doesn't work.
It's also flawed to the bone tonally, sometimes it's tying to be broad comedy, or witty comedy drama, or even emotional drama, and only succeeds in two scenes, an emotional death scene where Gervais goes all out, and a comedic flashback to his father, played by Barry from Eastenders, breaking into Stephen Merchant's house, who opens the door as he does that.
The cast is odd, Gervais is one note more than usual, Jennifer Garner is a crap as ever, and too focussed on plot-wise. Louis C.K. is a catch, he's ridiculously funny and holds his own in the film. Rob Lowe is the only other actor listed in the poster that has enough scenes to not call a cameo.
The cameos include, though: Tina Fey as Gervais' ex-assistant, dull. Jeffrey Tambour as Gervais' ex-boss at a movie studio, good but nothing interesting. Jonah Hill as a depressed man, he does fuck all. Edward Norton as a racist, violent cop, fun but unimportant. Philip Seymour Hoffman as a bartender, funny but not enough of him. Martin Starr as a waiter, too little.
The film has a Simpsons-esque feel to it with all the sign gags and visual humour, all of which fail, and this film is insanely disappointing, it's just so uninteresting, uninviting and worst of all, unfunny. Please please please Cemetery Junction, please be good.
3/10
But this year he brings in the full force of disappointment, With an unknown co-writer/director and a high concept idea, a World that tells no lies, which is presented in shit narration from Gervais, where he badmouths opening credits and calls them unimportant, trying to be funny but not true at the same time. The whole concept is flawed as the film goes on, yes it's a world without lies, but why do people feel the need to blurt out their inner thoughts, they must have learnt self-control and restraint over the generations. Music and poetry makes little sense in the World either, it'd not really have anything interesting, and all the technology they have/all the history humanity has is confusing, without religion there'd be few wars, and thus not so much in the way of leaps in technology, so getting to where we are now without lying doesn't work.
It's also flawed to the bone tonally, sometimes it's tying to be broad comedy, or witty comedy drama, or even emotional drama, and only succeeds in two scenes, an emotional death scene where Gervais goes all out, and a comedic flashback to his father, played by Barry from Eastenders, breaking into Stephen Merchant's house, who opens the door as he does that.
The cast is odd, Gervais is one note more than usual, Jennifer Garner is a crap as ever, and too focussed on plot-wise. Louis C.K. is a catch, he's ridiculously funny and holds his own in the film. Rob Lowe is the only other actor listed in the poster that has enough scenes to not call a cameo.
The cameos include, though: Tina Fey as Gervais' ex-assistant, dull. Jeffrey Tambour as Gervais' ex-boss at a movie studio, good but nothing interesting. Jonah Hill as a depressed man, he does fuck all. Edward Norton as a racist, violent cop, fun but unimportant. Philip Seymour Hoffman as a bartender, funny but not enough of him. Martin Starr as a waiter, too little.
The film has a Simpsons-esque feel to it with all the sign gags and visual humour, all of which fail, and this film is insanely disappointing, it's just so uninteresting, uninviting and worst of all, unfunny. Please please please Cemetery Junction, please be good.
3/10
Sunday 4 October 2009
It's just a saying, a robot saying...
Surrogates re-unites disgraced director Jonathan Mostow with the disgraced writers of Catwoman and Terminator's 3 and 4, to be disgraced for one film is rather hard to do, to be embraced for many films and raping a child is all well and good of course though, another robot film after 6 years of hiding from fans of the Terminator series sees Bruce Willis don the most ridiculous blonde wig to be a robot version of himself investigating the death of Surrogate creator James Cromwell, you know, the guy who invented US Robotics in I, Robot and monarchy in The Queen, and shot up Kevin Spacey in LA Confidential, that guy, guess who the bad guy is, go on, it's not obvious at all, even with Ving Rhames sporting dreads in a human only area, have a guess who is really killing people using robots.
For that matter, have a guess why this film is getting bad reviews and limping at the box office.
One clue, people are smart.
There are points in this film that close the gap between bad and so bad it's good, but the film constantly goes for seriousness and thus makes the whole experience painfully awful. There are scenes in this film that I wouldn't deem Bruce Willis screaming "Go Go Gadget Chainsaw Army" out of place, it's the level of been-there-done-that that these futuristic sci-fi conspiracy thriller films are stuck with until someone makes the next game-changer, and as the films flounder more and more I doubt it'll come anytime soon, so we're stuck with September dumping ground pieces of crap like Surrogates, which sports Rosamund Pike with a terrible American accent as the surrogate wife of Bruce Willis, who has friends that like to jack-on with electricity, yes, they even RIP OFF FUTURAMA! They call humans meatbags for goodness sake.
Mostow should fuck off back to hiding and never come out again, for an 88 minute action thriller the action was slow, poorly shot and limited, the thriller element was painfully obvious, and the runtime is appalling, it's thirty minutes too long and the credits begin at the 80 minute mark, to pad out the film they desperately, read hopelessly, add Bruce WIllis trying to get his wife off the robot machine, and it never ever feels like anything but desperate padding, probably based on poor early test screenings and March re-shoots, which might help explain the horribly cartoony CGI in the film.
Avoid.
4/10 (And that's being kind, due to it's short runtime)
For that matter, have a guess why this film is getting bad reviews and limping at the box office.
One clue, people are smart.
There are points in this film that close the gap between bad and so bad it's good, but the film constantly goes for seriousness and thus makes the whole experience painfully awful. There are scenes in this film that I wouldn't deem Bruce Willis screaming "Go Go Gadget Chainsaw Army" out of place, it's the level of been-there-done-that that these futuristic sci-fi conspiracy thriller films are stuck with until someone makes the next game-changer, and as the films flounder more and more I doubt it'll come anytime soon, so we're stuck with September dumping ground pieces of crap like Surrogates, which sports Rosamund Pike with a terrible American accent as the surrogate wife of Bruce Willis, who has friends that like to jack-on with electricity, yes, they even RIP OFF FUTURAMA! They call humans meatbags for goodness sake.
Mostow should fuck off back to hiding and never come out again, for an 88 minute action thriller the action was slow, poorly shot and limited, the thriller element was painfully obvious, and the runtime is appalling, it's thirty minutes too long and the credits begin at the 80 minute mark, to pad out the film they desperately, read hopelessly, add Bruce WIllis trying to get his wife off the robot machine, and it never ever feels like anything but desperate padding, probably based on poor early test screenings and March re-shoots, which might help explain the horribly cartoony CGI in the film.
Avoid.
4/10 (And that's being kind, due to it's short runtime)
It's like a Bromance, only there's no Bromance, but it's all depressing and what not.
Joe Wright returns after triumphantly proving all wrong about the unfilmable-ness of Atonement, by making Atonement, and making it a damn good film.
With the aid of Susannah Grant on typewriter, joe makes a drama about two men in different circles of life, one a lonely journalist who writes human interest pieces, the other a homeless musical genius with schizophrenia. Together they bond for two hours in a Reign Over Me style push me pull me, I hit you then apologise, I don't know what I'm doing really film, which has been done before, and better, but gets by easily on the charisma and skill of Lucky Downey Jr. A man who oozes brilliance and makes acting look easy. Though it also makes Jamie Foxx's turn look like he's trying to hard and failing at every turn.
In addition to these two there's an unfairly ignored Stephen Root being funny, Catherine Keener, who gets roped in to a sub-plot that makes Downey's character more human and have issues, Tom Hollander in a bad American accent being a bible bashing music teacher and an assortment of quality yet unknown actors peppering scenes in the LA Mission Centre, homelife of Foxx's character and Downey's investigation and quest to help Foxx's character.
The plot is far too basic to go over, but the film isn't sure what it's doing most of the time, it starts focussed on Downey's character in a biking accident, then he finds Foxx, writes about him, gets a great response from people, but then goes into flashbacks of Foxx's character, as uncharismatic and uninteresting as possible on a movie screen, and evolves from young kid to adult in an apartment in a very Lynchian nightmare sequence, that goes nowhere and explains nothing.
Fortunately Downey is always close by to increase the film more, but the biggest problem of this film is somewhere in there it's a dark, interesting and funny character piece about two people who become friends against all odds, and things go wrong, but it's clearly Americanised to the point that happy endings are expected and painfully given in a desperate attempt to wrap up the previous hour and forty minutes of film before it. And it's a shame as it could have been something more, but as it is The Soloist is Oscar bait that won't get far and is disappointingly mundane, save for Downey as always.
7/10
With the aid of Susannah Grant on typewriter, joe makes a drama about two men in different circles of life, one a lonely journalist who writes human interest pieces, the other a homeless musical genius with schizophrenia. Together they bond for two hours in a Reign Over Me style push me pull me, I hit you then apologise, I don't know what I'm doing really film, which has been done before, and better, but gets by easily on the charisma and skill of Lucky Downey Jr. A man who oozes brilliance and makes acting look easy. Though it also makes Jamie Foxx's turn look like he's trying to hard and failing at every turn.
In addition to these two there's an unfairly ignored Stephen Root being funny, Catherine Keener, who gets roped in to a sub-plot that makes Downey's character more human and have issues, Tom Hollander in a bad American accent being a bible bashing music teacher and an assortment of quality yet unknown actors peppering scenes in the LA Mission Centre, homelife of Foxx's character and Downey's investigation and quest to help Foxx's character.
The plot is far too basic to go over, but the film isn't sure what it's doing most of the time, it starts focussed on Downey's character in a biking accident, then he finds Foxx, writes about him, gets a great response from people, but then goes into flashbacks of Foxx's character, as uncharismatic and uninteresting as possible on a movie screen, and evolves from young kid to adult in an apartment in a very Lynchian nightmare sequence, that goes nowhere and explains nothing.
Fortunately Downey is always close by to increase the film more, but the biggest problem of this film is somewhere in there it's a dark, interesting and funny character piece about two people who become friends against all odds, and things go wrong, but it's clearly Americanised to the point that happy endings are expected and painfully given in a desperate attempt to wrap up the previous hour and forty minutes of film before it. And it's a shame as it could have been something more, but as it is The Soloist is Oscar bait that won't get far and is disappointingly mundane, save for Downey as always.
7/10
I'll have the steak, the chicken and, erm, the chicken fried steak.
Sony Pictures has a new output of animation following Open Season, Monster House and the absolute masterpiece Surf's Up, again grabbing as many insanely awesome voices in one film, Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs announces the first worldwide 3-D release from the studio, Monster House was rather limited given it was before the 3-D boom.
I think before we start the film's talk, I want to focus on the cast.
Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, Bobb'e J.. Thompson, Neil Patrick Harris, Lauren Graham, Will Forte & Neil Flynn.
I know, right, epic! Hader, Forte and Samberg being some real gems from modern SNL, also included in that genre are Poehler and Wiig, then Anna Faris who is, alongside Catherine O'Hara, one of the funniest females around right now. James Caan, well, needless to explain that, Mr. T is pure retro, Bruce Campbell is groovy, Bobb'e is hilarious even in dreck like Land Of The Lost, NPH is NPH, he's Awesome, Lauren Graham is fantastic and Neil Flynn, well, he's a genius.
And that as a voice cast is ridiculously sturdy, and it shows, as the acting is never out of whack in this film, even when zany and emotional mix together, with Hader really going a step up here for developing a character who retains eccentricity in the face of romantic and parental scenarios.
So, the plot is this weird odd kid, Flint Lockwood, constantly invents things, ratbirds, remote controlled televisions, in a small island in the middle of the Atlantic whose sole income is a Sardine fishing and canning industry, which goes out of business, leaving the island with no money and only sardines to eat in many ways.
One day Flint invents a machine that can transform the molecules in water into food items of any kind, but when testing found it needs lots of power. Meaning he has to go outside, to a transformer station. And of course things go wrong to satisfy a feature length plot, the machine gets too much juice and flies into the air, making it rain food items. Soon enough as the town becomes popular, thanks to a weather intern, Faris, reporting on the crazy situation, radiation from the clouds affect the machine, the food gets bigger and bigger, and as Mayor Campbell gets fatter and more selfish the whole town is put in peril of being destroyed by massive food crushing them.
In between action Flint forms a relationship with the weather intern and tries to impress his father, who has become more and more introverted after his wife's passing. You know, generic middle class problems that kids really understand and comprehend. Thankfully not told too often in a patronising way.
But the film is an animated comedy, leading to some really neat sequences, scaling a deep cavern of peanut brittle with a liquorice rope, an ice cream snowball fight that gets rather violent rather quickly, Gummi Bears attacking the wings of planes.
It's almost surreal in it's way, and that's what makes the film so good, when it wants to it is willing to maybe alienate the kids with some risque jokes or some old references, but always manages to add a monkey doing things or some slightly low brow stuff to let the kids laugh too, which is nice, but infuriating at the same time.
the writer/directors of the film have previous credits in How I Met Your Mother and Clone High, two real gems of TV, the former a consistently risque yet fantastically funny show, the latter a very close to the bone piss take on high school TV dramas. And it's good that even with a U rated film they can scale some slightly odd territory, and don't succumb to Dreamworks' horrible output of pop-culture quips and waste of time characters who add nothing but tedious one liners, even Mr. T's crazy athletic police officer has his own sub-plot, everyone gets time for development, and whilst it makes the film seem longer than it is, it means the writers genuinely care about what they are doing and want the audience to care too.
Lets face it, Pixar do it better and with less pandering or over exposed characters, but they are the pinnacle of animation studios, we can't expect the same output from anyone else, but when it's not entirely awful, it's rather nice to watch, as is the case with Cloudy.
7/10
I think before we start the film's talk, I want to focus on the cast.
Bill Hader, Anna Faris, James Caan, Andy Samberg, Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, Bobb'e J.. Thompson, Neil Patrick Harris, Lauren Graham, Will Forte & Neil Flynn.
I know, right, epic! Hader, Forte and Samberg being some real gems from modern SNL, also included in that genre are Poehler and Wiig, then Anna Faris who is, alongside Catherine O'Hara, one of the funniest females around right now. James Caan, well, needless to explain that, Mr. T is pure retro, Bruce Campbell is groovy, Bobb'e is hilarious even in dreck like Land Of The Lost, NPH is NPH, he's Awesome, Lauren Graham is fantastic and Neil Flynn, well, he's a genius.
And that as a voice cast is ridiculously sturdy, and it shows, as the acting is never out of whack in this film, even when zany and emotional mix together, with Hader really going a step up here for developing a character who retains eccentricity in the face of romantic and parental scenarios.
So, the plot is this weird odd kid, Flint Lockwood, constantly invents things, ratbirds, remote controlled televisions, in a small island in the middle of the Atlantic whose sole income is a Sardine fishing and canning industry, which goes out of business, leaving the island with no money and only sardines to eat in many ways.
One day Flint invents a machine that can transform the molecules in water into food items of any kind, but when testing found it needs lots of power. Meaning he has to go outside, to a transformer station. And of course things go wrong to satisfy a feature length plot, the machine gets too much juice and flies into the air, making it rain food items. Soon enough as the town becomes popular, thanks to a weather intern, Faris, reporting on the crazy situation, radiation from the clouds affect the machine, the food gets bigger and bigger, and as Mayor Campbell gets fatter and more selfish the whole town is put in peril of being destroyed by massive food crushing them.
In between action Flint forms a relationship with the weather intern and tries to impress his father, who has become more and more introverted after his wife's passing. You know, generic middle class problems that kids really understand and comprehend. Thankfully not told too often in a patronising way.
But the film is an animated comedy, leading to some really neat sequences, scaling a deep cavern of peanut brittle with a liquorice rope, an ice cream snowball fight that gets rather violent rather quickly, Gummi Bears attacking the wings of planes.
It's almost surreal in it's way, and that's what makes the film so good, when it wants to it is willing to maybe alienate the kids with some risque jokes or some old references, but always manages to add a monkey doing things or some slightly low brow stuff to let the kids laugh too, which is nice, but infuriating at the same time.
the writer/directors of the film have previous credits in How I Met Your Mother and Clone High, two real gems of TV, the former a consistently risque yet fantastically funny show, the latter a very close to the bone piss take on high school TV dramas. And it's good that even with a U rated film they can scale some slightly odd territory, and don't succumb to Dreamworks' horrible output of pop-culture quips and waste of time characters who add nothing but tedious one liners, even Mr. T's crazy athletic police officer has his own sub-plot, everyone gets time for development, and whilst it makes the film seem longer than it is, it means the writers genuinely care about what they are doing and want the audience to care too.
Lets face it, Pixar do it better and with less pandering or over exposed characters, but they are the pinnacle of animation studios, we can't expect the same output from anyone else, but when it's not entirely awful, it's rather nice to watch, as is the case with Cloudy.
7/10
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