So, Kevin Smith predicted it, in 2001, Will Ferrell played Marshall Wilenholly in Jay and Silly Bobs' Stricken Backs, and 8 years later Ferrell pops up in TV adaptation Land of the Lost as Rick Marshall in a film that tries to do the Starsky and Hutch mickey take and yet loving homage to the show, but messes it up completely by losing the funny for CGI, jump scares, lots of unnecessary plotting and poor character development.
Rick Marshall and new assistant Holly, Anna Friel, go to Will, Danny McBride, and his crazy devil cave where they travel time and space to an odd land full of monkey men, Chaka played by the legend that is Jorma Taccone, dinosaurs who are smart, odd lizard men and a giant crab for no real reason.
It begins with a horror scene, then some relaxed improv, with Bobbe J'Thompson, the brilliant kid from Role Models, and slowly forgets this for lots of running, gross out gags with blood sucking bugs, sex jokes that aren't funny, except "Watch out you'll get wet, No I mean Holly" which the kids in the audience, mainly the entire limited audience, after all the ads and trailers were child friendly, didn't get. Add the moment where Ferrell says Eff you to Chaka and lots of cursing and some violence, comedic but boring, and it's stupid how they can put Coco Pops ads in front of it.
So, whilst the actors are solid, the music is brilliant, it's just forgotten that CGI is the anti-funny, like David Koepp said on the Ghost Town commentary, CGI stops jokes, it's true.
What a waste of time, avoid, like most films this year, avoid.
2/10
Friday 31 July 2009
Wednesday 29 July 2009
Man On Train Tracks
So, Tony Scott back again. The man who gave us the magnificent True Romance and the surprisingly wonderful Man on Fire remake is remaking another cult classic with The Taking Of Pelham 123, starring his favourite actor, and who wouldn't want him in their film, Denzel Washington, as a rail controller, the voice on the other end of the line as Travolta's eccentric hostage taker as he works out a plan to make $10 million in one hour. Add John Turturro as a hostage negotiator who helps Denzel and James Gandolfini as the mayor.
So, it's all you expect, tense dialogue, people being shot and shouting "Where's the money Lebowski?" swishy camera work, fast editing, saturated images, slo-mo and fast motion mixed together, the Scott Standard.
The opening credits are a testament to him, lots of classic styles mixed with showy offy text work and dialogue.
And that's kinda the film's big weakness, the dialogue is dull and just has lots of f-words because they can't think of something good to say, I never cared for Denzel and never feared his life would be in danger at all, Travolta was never a savage man, just a slightly odd character with a gun and friends, and it's a shame because the actors work really well, the film looks and sounds amazing, but the script is flat and lifeless.
I guess it's good that everything else works then, because considering it's high score the script just makes you question why they let it go into production without another re-write, stupid Writer's Strike.
It's not the Tony Scott film you've waited for since Man On Fire, but it's got the same components and it'll do for now.
7/10
So, it's all you expect, tense dialogue, people being shot and shouting "Where's the money Lebowski?" swishy camera work, fast editing, saturated images, slo-mo and fast motion mixed together, the Scott Standard.
The opening credits are a testament to him, lots of classic styles mixed with showy offy text work and dialogue.
And that's kinda the film's big weakness, the dialogue is dull and just has lots of f-words because they can't think of something good to say, I never cared for Denzel and never feared his life would be in danger at all, Travolta was never a savage man, just a slightly odd character with a gun and friends, and it's a shame because the actors work really well, the film looks and sounds amazing, but the script is flat and lifeless.
I guess it's good that everything else works then, because considering it's high score the script just makes you question why they let it go into production without another re-write, stupid Writer's Strike.
It's not the Tony Scott film you've waited for since Man On Fire, but it's got the same components and it'll do for now.
7/10
Tuesday 28 July 2009
Lame quote to trendy film that works with film reviewed below
So, Ryan Reynolds eh? Van Wilder turned to rom coms quickly, then decided to make himself a massive star by signing on to two, count them, two comic book film projects, after the disastrous Deadpool re-imagining in the Burton sense of the word in Wolverine, he's gonna be Deadpool properly in a few years time, meaning The Proposal will be his last romantic comedy until his career subsides, though he should just stick with frat boy comedies, him in The Hangover would have been 100000x better than Bradley Cooper.
Sandra Bullock is a horrible actress, I mean, annoying, bad and thinks she's far prettier than she could ever be, I swear she's got Miss Piggy's nose. I mean, when she fell down he stairs in Crash I cheered. She survived which was annoying, but she fell down stairs, take what you can in this life. I avoided the film where she finds a magic mailbox and sends horny letters to Ted "Whoah" Anderson Constantine Utah, who takes many red pills to forget the words. I saw Speed because, well, Dennis Hopper gets decapitated and Ted "Whoah" Anderson Constantine Utah drives a bus fast with a gun. Why would you miss that?
But Bullock is a bad actress, she has little comedy knowledge, isn't entertaining and just comes off like a preening bitch.
So The Proposal, a film where contrived situation rom com actress Bullock is gonna be deported to Canada, pretends Reynolds' assistant is getting married to her, settling the issue, but a government agent guy thinks it's all a big ruse, so follows them as they visit his family in Alaska, where lo-and-behold he's not just some poor kid moved to the big city, but has a massive family estate and practically owns their home town.
It's like Chuck and Larry in some of that sense, faked couple, man sniffing around, although here it's not as stupid, annoying, and forgetting the quality drama of some scenes for madcap moments. There are some mad moments, and they don't fit, such as Bullock dancing around a fire with mad 90 year old grandmother singing a shitty rap song as the song plays, comedy is missing here, as is a sequence where Bullock, her again, picks up a dog and tries to barter an Eagle to take the dog not her phone. Yeah.
Fortunately most of those moments are cut by Reynolds' sarcastic quips and charm, making you genuinely laugh and understand the situation.
Some times though the film falls too far into a pre-established genre. They hate each other, inexplicably learn to love each other doesn't really work since she's about 45 and he's only early 30's, and they don't have much in common. The family has issues, all resolved easily, when 90 year old grandmother has a heart attack, but it's a fake one that gets the characters to reconnect, oh how wonderful...ly stupid.
Fortunately even a stupid strip dance from The Office's Oscar aren't too annoying when you have Reynolds' enjoyable nature easing the film along, and even though it relies a lot on him, he makes it effortless.
Malin Akerman has a thankless role as an ex of Reynolds who says he's a good man once, and that's it, that's all she's there for, nothing else, which is odd since she's third on the credits. The music also has a similar issue, it's there for one scene, and then in the background the rest of the time reminding you that it's a silly scene with brass beats. Generic indeed.
The camerawork, however, is far superior, shots of the couple are often distanced, and in close up the director has moving cameras going in opposite directions for each actor, subtle yet clever.
Even though at points it seems like it's going to transcend the Rom-Com genre like Definitely, Maybe did, it ultimately wants girls to laugh at Bullock being a stuck up bitch letting loose, which is the film's weakest points, when Reynolds saves it with being effortlessly awesome. It's a cheap showing kinda flick.
7/10
Sandra Bullock is a horrible actress, I mean, annoying, bad and thinks she's far prettier than she could ever be, I swear she's got Miss Piggy's nose. I mean, when she fell down he stairs in Crash I cheered. She survived which was annoying, but she fell down stairs, take what you can in this life. I avoided the film where she finds a magic mailbox and sends horny letters to Ted "Whoah" Anderson Constantine Utah, who takes many red pills to forget the words. I saw Speed because, well, Dennis Hopper gets decapitated and Ted "Whoah" Anderson Constantine Utah drives a bus fast with a gun. Why would you miss that?
But Bullock is a bad actress, she has little comedy knowledge, isn't entertaining and just comes off like a preening bitch.
So The Proposal, a film where contrived situation rom com actress Bullock is gonna be deported to Canada, pretends Reynolds' assistant is getting married to her, settling the issue, but a government agent guy thinks it's all a big ruse, so follows them as they visit his family in Alaska, where lo-and-behold he's not just some poor kid moved to the big city, but has a massive family estate and practically owns their home town.
It's like Chuck and Larry in some of that sense, faked couple, man sniffing around, although here it's not as stupid, annoying, and forgetting the quality drama of some scenes for madcap moments. There are some mad moments, and they don't fit, such as Bullock dancing around a fire with mad 90 year old grandmother singing a shitty rap song as the song plays, comedy is missing here, as is a sequence where Bullock, her again, picks up a dog and tries to barter an Eagle to take the dog not her phone. Yeah.
Fortunately most of those moments are cut by Reynolds' sarcastic quips and charm, making you genuinely laugh and understand the situation.
Some times though the film falls too far into a pre-established genre. They hate each other, inexplicably learn to love each other doesn't really work since she's about 45 and he's only early 30's, and they don't have much in common. The family has issues, all resolved easily, when 90 year old grandmother has a heart attack, but it's a fake one that gets the characters to reconnect, oh how wonderful...ly stupid.
Fortunately even a stupid strip dance from The Office's Oscar aren't too annoying when you have Reynolds' enjoyable nature easing the film along, and even though it relies a lot on him, he makes it effortless.
Malin Akerman has a thankless role as an ex of Reynolds who says he's a good man once, and that's it, that's all she's there for, nothing else, which is odd since she's third on the credits. The music also has a similar issue, it's there for one scene, and then in the background the rest of the time reminding you that it's a silly scene with brass beats. Generic indeed.
The camerawork, however, is far superior, shots of the couple are often distanced, and in close up the director has moving cameras going in opposite directions for each actor, subtle yet clever.
Even though at points it seems like it's going to transcend the Rom-Com genre like Definitely, Maybe did, it ultimately wants girls to laugh at Bullock being a stuck up bitch letting loose, which is the film's weakest points, when Reynolds saves it with being effortlessly awesome. It's a cheap showing kinda flick.
7/10
Friday 10 July 2009
I didn't hit her, it's not true, it's bullshit I did not hit her, i Did NAHT! Oh vassup Mark!
So, Sacha Baren Cohen, 'king of comedy', returns to the big screen almost 3 years after Borat made everyone gasp for air in the cinema time and time again, critics loved it, audiences loved it, it even got an Oscar nomination. Now with the final character from his Ali G repertoire, gay fashion show host Bruno from Austria, going to America again, Sacha will find fewer fans.
I personally laughed at Borat, but never felt the quality that everyone else did, maybe the years of enjoying the TV stuff made me hope it'd be more like that, and I was disappointed, especially in the staged stuff and unnecessary ending that's too un-documentary-like. Add to that everyone doing the catchphrases and it's a painful experience to watch now.
Bruno I never really liked, but I hoped it'd be so good and so big everyone would imitate him, suddenly thousands of Essex Lads revert from "I ain't a Queer" to "Oh vassup! Zat is incrediblech"
Alas no.
The fears of it being dire have been confirmed, for an 80 minute runtime the film felt about 1 hour 55 minutes long, and most of the first half of the film is all staged plot points, with an annoying character you can't like because he's never vulnerable enough, well, in one scene when his baby is taken away it's a nice dark moment, but nothing more than that, so we can't care about this senseless boob with nothing going on up here. (points to head)
So the basic premise is this, breathes in to say the whole long story, Austrian overtly gay correspondent Bruno loses his job in a screw up at Milan fashion week, goes to America to become famous, tries to act, tries to host a show, tries to bring peace to the middle east, tries to be charitable, ends up trying to be straight, falls in love with assistant.
And in all that they need some humour, but for it's runtime there's so much downtime between the set-pieces and jokes it's devastating, and many real moments feel too staged, including a moment where he refers to a cop as Paul Blart, a reference that wouldn't be made until after shooting had ended, thus ADR-ed later, destroying all chances of reality by too much post.
The real stuff ranges from the hysterical - A test audience watches a Bruno show where penises talk and swing and he dances in his undies, then he comes in and they aren't happy - to downright dull - a hunting party where a slight whiff of people annoyed by a gay man wanting to sleep near them naked, understandable really in those situations.
The ending sequence where Elton John, Chris Martin, Sting, Bono and Snoop Dogg record a charity song with Bruno isn't funny or interesting, they get the joke and are in on it, and is a tiresome extra 2 minutes on the runtime.
The worst thing is this film has no real agenda. Borat looked at racism in America through the eyes of a sweet foreign journalist, instead of hitting homophobia it's just one man trying to make homophobia, it's not smart and worst of all it's not funny.
A blinding bore, disappointment, and only one real "OH wow" moment, featuring a 'real terrorist', and he only clenches his fist and tells Bruno to get out.
5/10
I personally laughed at Borat, but never felt the quality that everyone else did, maybe the years of enjoying the TV stuff made me hope it'd be more like that, and I was disappointed, especially in the staged stuff and unnecessary ending that's too un-documentary-like. Add to that everyone doing the catchphrases and it's a painful experience to watch now.
Bruno I never really liked, but I hoped it'd be so good and so big everyone would imitate him, suddenly thousands of Essex Lads revert from "I ain't a Queer" to "Oh vassup! Zat is incrediblech"
Alas no.
The fears of it being dire have been confirmed, for an 80 minute runtime the film felt about 1 hour 55 minutes long, and most of the first half of the film is all staged plot points, with an annoying character you can't like because he's never vulnerable enough, well, in one scene when his baby is taken away it's a nice dark moment, but nothing more than that, so we can't care about this senseless boob with nothing going on up here. (points to head)
So the basic premise is this, breathes in to say the whole long story, Austrian overtly gay correspondent Bruno loses his job in a screw up at Milan fashion week, goes to America to become famous, tries to act, tries to host a show, tries to bring peace to the middle east, tries to be charitable, ends up trying to be straight, falls in love with assistant.
And in all that they need some humour, but for it's runtime there's so much downtime between the set-pieces and jokes it's devastating, and many real moments feel too staged, including a moment where he refers to a cop as Paul Blart, a reference that wouldn't be made until after shooting had ended, thus ADR-ed later, destroying all chances of reality by too much post.
The real stuff ranges from the hysterical - A test audience watches a Bruno show where penises talk and swing and he dances in his undies, then he comes in and they aren't happy - to downright dull - a hunting party where a slight whiff of people annoyed by a gay man wanting to sleep near them naked, understandable really in those situations.
The ending sequence where Elton John, Chris Martin, Sting, Bono and Snoop Dogg record a charity song with Bruno isn't funny or interesting, they get the joke and are in on it, and is a tiresome extra 2 minutes on the runtime.
The worst thing is this film has no real agenda. Borat looked at racism in America through the eyes of a sweet foreign journalist, instead of hitting homophobia it's just one man trying to make homophobia, it's not smart and worst of all it's not funny.
A blinding bore, disappointment, and only one real "OH wow" moment, featuring a 'real terrorist', and he only clenches his fist and tells Bruno to get out.
5/10
That's No Death Star!
Alright press, we get it, Director Duncan Jones is the son of David Bowie, get over it, he's not gone out and made his name through his father, no, he's done it by being a genuine talent.
Moon is about Sam Rockwell, who plays Sam, a man working on the other side of the moon for "Lunar Industries" a company who create energy using Helium 3 from the Moon to power the Earth. He and his robot chum GERTY, Kevin Spacey, do their work and retain sanity, until he has a crash on a Lunar Rover and wakes up back to normal, wondering what happened to the rover.
He's not allowed out until he's deemed medically fine, but sneaks out and gets to the crash site only to find a body in there. Him.
From there on in it descends from breezy special effects drama to a twisting turning psychological thriller in space with two of the same person trying to figure out what is going on, and it skips over the cliches, they're not evil versions of one another, the computer is bad, instead of trite easy moments it jumps from a slow burning film that's not too fascinating into a slowly meandering into oblivion web that you get hooked into and can't really figure it all out until way past the credits.
For a $5 million budget they certainly got a lot out of it, the sets are authentic and have a nostalgic feeling going back to 2001, Alien and the like, the proper kinds of sci-fi, slightly futuristic but almost possible, the moon itself looks amazing, and whilst there's not much with gravity issues, it's not a problem. The music by Clint Mansell is one of the first of the year that come the end I was tapping toes to, I simply must find the score, it's haunting, epic, subtle and at it's high points loud and fun.
For such a small budget it is a beautiful film, breathtaking in fact, with just so much smart and fun dialogue, great Sam and Sam interactions, a Table Tennis scene explained "Howdeydodat" by Mr. Jones after the film is impeccable, and overall this is the kind of filmt he summer needs. A rock solid fun, interesting, tense, dark well made film that's also a smart adult Science Fiction like the old days before I was born.
Brilliant.
10/10
Moon is about Sam Rockwell, who plays Sam, a man working on the other side of the moon for "Lunar Industries" a company who create energy using Helium 3 from the Moon to power the Earth. He and his robot chum GERTY, Kevin Spacey, do their work and retain sanity, until he has a crash on a Lunar Rover and wakes up back to normal, wondering what happened to the rover.
He's not allowed out until he's deemed medically fine, but sneaks out and gets to the crash site only to find a body in there. Him.
From there on in it descends from breezy special effects drama to a twisting turning psychological thriller in space with two of the same person trying to figure out what is going on, and it skips over the cliches, they're not evil versions of one another, the computer is bad, instead of trite easy moments it jumps from a slow burning film that's not too fascinating into a slowly meandering into oblivion web that you get hooked into and can't really figure it all out until way past the credits.
For a $5 million budget they certainly got a lot out of it, the sets are authentic and have a nostalgic feeling going back to 2001, Alien and the like, the proper kinds of sci-fi, slightly futuristic but almost possible, the moon itself looks amazing, and whilst there's not much with gravity issues, it's not a problem. The music by Clint Mansell is one of the first of the year that come the end I was tapping toes to, I simply must find the score, it's haunting, epic, subtle and at it's high points loud and fun.
For such a small budget it is a beautiful film, breathtaking in fact, with just so much smart and fun dialogue, great Sam and Sam interactions, a Table Tennis scene explained "Howdeydodat" by Mr. Jones after the film is impeccable, and overall this is the kind of filmt he summer needs. A rock solid fun, interesting, tense, dark well made film that's also a smart adult Science Fiction like the old days before I was born.
Brilliant.
10/10
Mann I Wish It Was Good
The much anticipated summer flick of choice now, Public Enemies, a film by Mr. Mann, director of such greats as Heat, Collateral and Miami Vice, a film that swayed me from hate to love within 15 minutes of it's hard to follow intricately brilliant action drama.
Public Enemies is much the same in that the dialogue holds the key, but you have to listen carefully, but I mean really carefully this time, as the only things consistent in this film are the odd score choices and the gun sound levels, the dialogue is impossible to hear at some points and crystal clear in others.
The film is about a few months with John Dillinger, or maybe even weeks, leading up to his death by Patrick Bateman, he really hated those business cards. So Johnny Depp acts charismatic and fun loving and does some bank raids and falls in love, whilst Melvin Purvis trashes lights, runs around and shouts for answers.
The only problem is the film is a hollow shell.
You never once care about what happens to anyone, we never find much out, are invited in or really feel highs and lows of the events, the bank robberies are a disappointing bore, the shootouts while trade-markedly loud, miss a lot of humanity and aren't interesting, and it's runtime is 30 minutes too long for nothing to actually happen.
The HD cameras with a handheld feel is odd, like a docu-drama set in the '30's, and whilst it looks extraordinary, it feels boring and sluggish, trying to set up the period subtly doesn't work, and when they go a bit in your face with newsreels and radio news it feels a little embarrassing.
Whilst it looks and sounds alright and the acting is solid, Public Enemies offers absolutely nothing and should really be ignored, clearly when he works with real people Mr. Mann can't get into their minds like he does fictional creations.
6/10
Public Enemies is much the same in that the dialogue holds the key, but you have to listen carefully, but I mean really carefully this time, as the only things consistent in this film are the odd score choices and the gun sound levels, the dialogue is impossible to hear at some points and crystal clear in others.
The film is about a few months with John Dillinger, or maybe even weeks, leading up to his death by Patrick Bateman, he really hated those business cards. So Johnny Depp acts charismatic and fun loving and does some bank raids and falls in love, whilst Melvin Purvis trashes lights, runs around and shouts for answers.
The only problem is the film is a hollow shell.
You never once care about what happens to anyone, we never find much out, are invited in or really feel highs and lows of the events, the bank robberies are a disappointing bore, the shootouts while trade-markedly loud, miss a lot of humanity and aren't interesting, and it's runtime is 30 minutes too long for nothing to actually happen.
The HD cameras with a handheld feel is odd, like a docu-drama set in the '30's, and whilst it looks extraordinary, it feels boring and sluggish, trying to set up the period subtly doesn't work, and when they go a bit in your face with newsreels and radio news it feels a little embarrassing.
Whilst it looks and sounds alright and the acting is solid, Public Enemies offers absolutely nothing and should really be ignored, clearly when he works with real people Mr. Mann can't get into their minds like he does fictional creations.
6/10
I Promise You The Dawn Is Coming
The Dawn of The Dinosaurs, apparently.
The Dawn, even though in Ice Age 3, the dinosaurs had been extinct, a point they make many times, it's still just starting for them, unless dinosaurs are nocturnal in this metaphor for lifespan.
So when we last left our intrepid pre-historic heroes they were... Erm. I can't finish that sentence. I only made it through 3/4 of the first one, and never bothered with number 2, it was too cutesy, not enough comedy, though Scrat's Looney Tunes style antics were a highlight, and the added 3-D and boredom drew me to see this new one.
So, the basic premise, in this KIDS film, is conventional 3rd film antics, i.e. childbirth is coming, yep, a kids film about parents preparing for kids. So the mammoths, incredibly poorly voiced by Queen Latifah, who's vocals seem too serious for anything, and gives the horrible line as she rids a Brontosaurs neck "Yabbadabbadoo" to which Ray Romano's mammoth replies "Lets not ever Yabbadabbadoo that again" I shit you not, Honest To Blog bad!
Dennis Leary is the sabretooth tiger who wants to do stuff on his own, then doesn't, has about 5 minutes to do anything, and spends most of it with a funny gazelle cockily voiced by uber-funny man Bill Hader.
2 new characters I'm guessing sprang up in the sequel are Weasels or something who make jock style jokes and add nothing and detract a lot, voiced by the awesome Josh Peck and Seann William Scott, two great talents being just dire.
Hell, even Scrat suffers with a love story that's not funny nor interesting.
Add on Simon Pegg's boringly over the top insane weasel Buck who tells tall tales and helps the herd find the one saving grace of this picture.
Sid.
John Leguizamo, last seen in the Mark Wahlberg Talks To Plants film Boogi.... Erm, The Happening. What Happened? Nothing.
I never cared for the series, but I caught Surviving Sid on the Horton Hear's A Who Blu-Ray expecting some poor unfunny kids cheery cheese, and laughed an awful lot, he's a fool that you know will fail, but the way he's done is perfect, so loveable and idiotic you just know he's too innocent to comprehend the situations he gets himself into, this time wanting to be a parent too, finds 3 eggs and nurtures them, though when odd coloured T-Rex mama comes round and drags them all off, the quest begins.
It's all cliched, and almost all awful, but Sid's brilliance really does add this film a boost, and the 3-D is spectacular, not Monsters Vs Aliens good, but better than Coraline, Bolt or Up. A scene involving hte eggs, a piece of wood like a bobsled and Sid is just marvellous, and really draws you in.
The graphics are impeccable, cartoony in a great way, and have really improved to a ridiculous amount that it's just stunning.
I wouldn't buy it unless it's cheap, but it's fun enough, and I'm sure kids love the dumbness of it all, I think highly of the as you can tell.
7/10
The Dawn, even though in Ice Age 3, the dinosaurs had been extinct, a point they make many times, it's still just starting for them, unless dinosaurs are nocturnal in this metaphor for lifespan.
So when we last left our intrepid pre-historic heroes they were... Erm. I can't finish that sentence. I only made it through 3/4 of the first one, and never bothered with number 2, it was too cutesy, not enough comedy, though Scrat's Looney Tunes style antics were a highlight, and the added 3-D and boredom drew me to see this new one.
So, the basic premise, in this KIDS film, is conventional 3rd film antics, i.e. childbirth is coming, yep, a kids film about parents preparing for kids. So the mammoths, incredibly poorly voiced by Queen Latifah, who's vocals seem too serious for anything, and gives the horrible line as she rids a Brontosaurs neck "Yabbadabbadoo" to which Ray Romano's mammoth replies "Lets not ever Yabbadabbadoo that again" I shit you not, Honest To Blog bad!
Dennis Leary is the sabretooth tiger who wants to do stuff on his own, then doesn't, has about 5 minutes to do anything, and spends most of it with a funny gazelle cockily voiced by uber-funny man Bill Hader.
2 new characters I'm guessing sprang up in the sequel are Weasels or something who make jock style jokes and add nothing and detract a lot, voiced by the awesome Josh Peck and Seann William Scott, two great talents being just dire.
Hell, even Scrat suffers with a love story that's not funny nor interesting.
Add on Simon Pegg's boringly over the top insane weasel Buck who tells tall tales and helps the herd find the one saving grace of this picture.
Sid.
John Leguizamo, last seen in the Mark Wahlberg Talks To Plants film Boogi.... Erm, The Happening. What Happened? Nothing.
I never cared for the series, but I caught Surviving Sid on the Horton Hear's A Who Blu-Ray expecting some poor unfunny kids cheery cheese, and laughed an awful lot, he's a fool that you know will fail, but the way he's done is perfect, so loveable and idiotic you just know he's too innocent to comprehend the situations he gets himself into, this time wanting to be a parent too, finds 3 eggs and nurtures them, though when odd coloured T-Rex mama comes round and drags them all off, the quest begins.
It's all cliched, and almost all awful, but Sid's brilliance really does add this film a boost, and the 3-D is spectacular, not Monsters Vs Aliens good, but better than Coraline, Bolt or Up. A scene involving hte eggs, a piece of wood like a bobsled and Sid is just marvellous, and really draws you in.
The graphics are impeccable, cartoony in a great way, and have really improved to a ridiculous amount that it's just stunning.
I wouldn't buy it unless it's cheap, but it's fun enough, and I'm sure kids love the dumbness of it all, I think highly of the as you can tell.
7/10
You Can Keep My Sister
Nick Cassavetes, best known for girl weepy The Notebook, but also made the surprisingly brilliant Alpha Dog, returns to adapting crying books for another delve into making girls cry, I say girls cos in the screen I was in, I was the only one who should at least have a Y chromosome.
Basic plot is Abigail Breslin is a young girl who was created artificially to be able to give up body parts and blood for her sister, who has cancer, happy times, and she wants to be allowed to be in control of her body medically, so hires Alec Baldwin's lawyer. Mother Cameron Diaz shouts and screams at her a lot, and then cries all the time, while her sister numbingly monotones through voice overs, talking and every other scene she is until finally cancer kills her, two hours later than is acceptable.
Add to that the elder brother is a loner, gasp, and father is sitting on the fence, nothing interesting here.
No, the only moments that are any good involve the court case, which also includes the brilliant Joan Cusack as a crying judge who's daughter was run over half a year ago, so knows daughter loss pain, see, get it, she's empathetic.
Speaking of pathetic, a scene near the end, where the family rejoin to go to the beach one last time, is made up of complete weepiness, only the whole film's problem is it's not about here are the characters, this is who they are, it's sad, yeah? No, it's HERE ARE THE CHARACTERS, SHE'S DYING, CRY!
And the audience did, they fucking let go and cried, at some shitty indie music, blurry beach images and a bald girl smiling and cuddling to daddy. Cliche ridden cack and these gals ate it up like it was the best meal in years.
I just don't understand, I connected only to Abigail Breslin's character, who was sweet, fun and interesting, the best part of the film with her struggles, and Diaz was dull, if an English language version of Penelope Cruz's Oscar winning shouting and crying acting talent was given a name, it'd be The Diaz.
Just bad
5/10
Basic plot is Abigail Breslin is a young girl who was created artificially to be able to give up body parts and blood for her sister, who has cancer, happy times, and she wants to be allowed to be in control of her body medically, so hires Alec Baldwin's lawyer. Mother Cameron Diaz shouts and screams at her a lot, and then cries all the time, while her sister numbingly monotones through voice overs, talking and every other scene she is until finally cancer kills her, two hours later than is acceptable.
Add to that the elder brother is a loner, gasp, and father is sitting on the fence, nothing interesting here.
No, the only moments that are any good involve the court case, which also includes the brilliant Joan Cusack as a crying judge who's daughter was run over half a year ago, so knows daughter loss pain, see, get it, she's empathetic.
Speaking of pathetic, a scene near the end, where the family rejoin to go to the beach one last time, is made up of complete weepiness, only the whole film's problem is it's not about here are the characters, this is who they are, it's sad, yeah? No, it's HERE ARE THE CHARACTERS, SHE'S DYING, CRY!
And the audience did, they fucking let go and cried, at some shitty indie music, blurry beach images and a bald girl smiling and cuddling to daddy. Cliche ridden cack and these gals ate it up like it was the best meal in years.
I just don't understand, I connected only to Abigail Breslin's character, who was sweet, fun and interesting, the best part of the film with her struggles, and Diaz was dull, if an English language version of Penelope Cruz's Oscar winning shouting and crying acting talent was given a name, it'd be The Diaz.
Just bad
5/10
Don't Clean My Sunshine.
Sunshine Cleaning, a film I gathered by the poster alone to be some hilarious breezy black comedy about two chicks who accidentally kill someone and have to hide the evidence.
Of course the poster was half there, but my imagination kinda went further, as the film is in actual fact about Amy Adams' single mother needing money to get her kid into a good school after being kicked out of his old one, and getting into cleaning crime scenes for big money due to her affair with married high school sweetheart Steve Zahn.
She and her sister Emily Blunt go and do that, whilst the kid is looked after by grandfather Alan Arkin, typecast much?
So there's highs and lows, quirky moments, but overall it's a solid but lacking comedy drama with lots of moments that as a whole need more time to really sink in, and being just about 90 minutes long, it's one of those indie films that gets so close, but bottles it and has a lacklustre sudden ending as opposed to a solid finale that reaches highs the film needs to go to be truly memorable.
The film hasn't got anything new aesthetically, tonally, the acting is as solid as you'd expect from the cast, but it really never breaks through a mediocre bar, and there's nothing especially funny in it. A subplot involving 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub falling in love with Emily Blunt is given no real time, especially with the addition of possible boyfriend Eric Christian Olsen, who has about two scenes barely being there.
Can't complain as it's got enough quirk and heart to keep it going, but little of anything amazing.
8/10
Of course the poster was half there, but my imagination kinda went further, as the film is in actual fact about Amy Adams' single mother needing money to get her kid into a good school after being kicked out of his old one, and getting into cleaning crime scenes for big money due to her affair with married high school sweetheart Steve Zahn.
She and her sister Emily Blunt go and do that, whilst the kid is looked after by grandfather Alan Arkin, typecast much?
So there's highs and lows, quirky moments, but overall it's a solid but lacking comedy drama with lots of moments that as a whole need more time to really sink in, and being just about 90 minutes long, it's one of those indie films that gets so close, but bottles it and has a lacklustre sudden ending as opposed to a solid finale that reaches highs the film needs to go to be truly memorable.
The film hasn't got anything new aesthetically, tonally, the acting is as solid as you'd expect from the cast, but it really never breaks through a mediocre bar, and there's nothing especially funny in it. A subplot involving 24's Mary Lynn Rajskub falling in love with Emily Blunt is given no real time, especially with the addition of possible boyfriend Eric Christian Olsen, who has about two scenes barely being there.
Can't complain as it's got enough quirk and heart to keep it going, but little of anything amazing.
8/10
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