Tuesday 23 February 2010

Generic Name & The Overlong Stupidly Named Incident That Sounds Awful

Harry Potter imitators return once more in the guise of Percy Jackson & The Lightning Thief, from no less than Chris Columbus himself.

However, whilst Harry Potter had shit actors and an overlong runtime, this compresses a silly idea down enough and layers it on with a stellar cast:
Leading the pack is Logan Lerman, now officially breaking out from his small roles in such films as The Number 23, 3:10 To Yuma, Gamer, and his biggest role in the under-appreciated Meet Bill. Here he's a smart-arse teen who gets wrapped up in a silly plot about Grecian gods and Zeus' lightning bolt, but he continues his calm, cool, charismatic ways that's been slowly growing for years. I'm a fan of this kid, and it's nice to see such a big role hasn't stopped him doing what he does best. I honestly hope he does get the Spider-man role, he'll do wonders.

Catherine Keener is his mother, another stint of matriarchal work from the ever beautiful, excellent Keener. Who cares what her role is, it's Keener, and she has some screen-time, enough for me not to get sucked in to the others as well.
And who could play the step-dad scumbag but Joey Pants. the awesome Joe Pantoliano, why would he be in this film? Who knows, but why ask when you can enjoy him in his too short, but good work in this film.

Then there's Alpa Chino himself, Brandon T. Jackson as Percy's best friend and goat footed protector, proving he's still funny without being surrounded by some great comic talent, he knocks it out the park in being entertaining to watch, even if he gets too little time to be really fun, but that's the tonal problem of this film.
Then there's Sean Bean as Zeus, small role, silly really, but it's Sean Bean as Zeus, 'nuff said. Pierce Brosnan is either wheelchair bound or a centaur when we see him, having fun in a silly Obi Wan role, he does little, but it's wild man beard Brosnan with horse body.
Hades is portrayed by a very Russell Brand looking Steve Coogan, who has no where near enough time, and seems to be making a career in small roles in kids films. Wonder when he'll sell Partridge and the Calf family to kids, maybe this Partridge film will be an animated feature set in a CGI 3D Norwich.
Hades has his own Persephone with the ever gorgeous Rosario Dawson, who appears and straight away touches up Brandon T. Jackson, who resists! Which takes you right out of the movie. It's Rosario Dawson, even though it's not, anyone who looks like Rosario Dawson, you don't shrug away. Honestly.

Oh yeah, and Uma Thurman hams it up well as Medusa, light and fun in her scene, wonder if she'll be back in the sequel...

So, that's the cast, one hell of a cast. And it's a shame that such an amazing group of talents can't help a film that takes itself far too seriously, in this case, I was hoping that they'd play along but in a light, sarcastic, cynical nature that the opening 15 minutes contained in full force, it had elements where it was trying to be serious, but also alluded to the idea that perhaps it's too silly to be really serious in all nature, but then the next hour and a bit really nails a serious tone, which I have a hassle with since it's very very much unrealistic, too much for seriousness in real life.

Still, that's Columbus, he'll learn to find his humourous parts again soon, right? Ah well, the CGI was awful, for a film like this it needed better graphics, then again it was dropped into the February slot. I know if they make a sequel I would watch, the cast is impeccable but it needs to be less serious, more comical, the cast is mostly from comic backgrounds of some kind.

Still, it's not a bad film, it has some grand moments, and it showcases Lerman as a talent people will hopefully take note of now.
7/10

Monday 22 February 2010

Do good things and good things happen. I'm just trying to be a better person. My name is Khan.

"My name is Khan and I'm not a terrorist"
These are the key words to the film, similar to "My name is Harvey Milk, and I'm here to recruit you", the statement is used umpteen hundred times, constantly trying to sound powerful, but coming off as odd and quickly written.

But, that's really all I can say against this monumental film.

We start in San Francisco international airport, a man enters, big backpack, eyes diverted from everything, rustling rocks in his hand, muttering words in a foreign language. Quick as a button he is escorted by security to a cell, searched all over, bag and clothes. He's cleared, eventually, and tells them he's going to meet the President. He first utters the line, to an astounding thump from the film's soundtrack.
After that we see periodically Rizwan Khan's travels around the US trying to meet Bush and tell him he is not a terrorist just because he is of the Islamic faith. He writes letters to a woman, detailing his life from a young child in India, suffering from an as yet undiagnosed Asperger's Syndrome, his mother cares for him, his brother hates having no attention. Rizwan is a genius child, he feels no emotions, he can't look anyone in the eyes, he hates yellow, loud noises, new places, but he's a genius.

Whence he gets to San Francisco he works fro his brother, selling beauty products to stylists, wherein he meets the love of his life, Mandira. The following 20 minutes are a light, breezy attempt at romcom, he has to find something in the city she's never seen and she'll marry him, silly but fun.

Everything is going so well until about an hour and a bit in, when the September 11th attacks happen, and bang, everything goes to shit.

Post-Intermission we get the biggest gut punch for a long time, where The Lovely Bones failed, My Name Is Khan succeeds in a violent child attack.
For the rest of the film Rizwan is traversing the country, helping people, breaking stereotypes in the minds of Americans, and as some news people follow his story, he becomes famous for his good deeds and efforts.

The film is remarkable, it's long, real long, but it never lets up pace, there is a clear divide in the two parts, but it works well, and separates the lighter moments and the real wonderful melodrama of the piece. Not one shot in the film ISN'T meticulously conceived, a thing of beauty, each shot is astounding in itself, and I for one hope a good blu ray release happens for this film.

The music is loud and sublime, the acting solid all over, the script fantastic, if a bit cheesy, but it's forgivable, and the only weak casting choice is having an appalling Obama impersonator who can't impersonate, and yet they got Bush so right.

This is a wonderful film, words will never express the brilliance, just, go and see it, find it and see it, I don't care who you are, just do it, it's funny, dark, powerful, moving, beautiful, sublime, an all round amazing film.
10/10

Monday 15 February 2010

Hey, I paid to see a Disney film, I put on my 3D glasses, and it's all, like, flat.

So, finally, 6 years after, ahem, "Home on the Range", Disney returns to 2D after an overlong sidestep into CG works, giving us Chicken Little, Meet The Robinsons and Bolt, three exhaustively lacking films, we find Disney almost pleading with the audience to give them a second chance with The Princess & The Frog, and you know what, it's not an awful, soulless piece of quick buck entertainment like the stupid Direct-To-DVD sequels we ignore forever.
No, The Princess & The Frog is not perfect, the songs, in fact, are uninspired for the most part and not memorable, but the comedy can be wonderful, the characterisation is fantastic, the animation a thing of beauty, an inspired 20's style restaurant song and dance featuring high-society style sketches is gorgeous, and some of the characters, inspired.

Who'd have thought watching the opening 15 minutes that at one point the Prince and the young woman would encounter a crazy firefly who would not only be hysterical, but a wonderful emotional tent-pole to the proceedings? Or how dark the Shadowman could be, and the voodoo sequences scary and well done? When a crocodile playing the trombone isn't annoying and is, in actual fact, a wondrous addition to an already well done We're in this together so whilst we hate each other, we'll keep staying together plot, alongside a hysterical cut away to a river boat jazz group, you know Disney are coming back to form.

It's not all perfect, the closing 30 minutes are a little too generic, understandable, yes, but easily avoided, and the John Goodman and his daughter character, rich white tycoon and princess-style daughter, were mere one note characters where at least a further dimension was nearly hinted at at points, could have been better done, it doesn't matter.

Kudos, by the way, to Keith David for his Shadowman performance, the best song in the film, the best character sans Ray the firefly, poor guy, and, well, he's got such a voice, I like to point it out every so often.

Magical, entertaining, heartwarming and wonderful, a must see for anyone and everyone, kids or not, even people as cynical as me, if not moreso, will find something to enjoy.
8/10

An animated film about saving the environment, no, not Avatar again.

Ponyo On the Cliff By the Sea, or Ponyo as the distributors butchered it to, is the latest film to eventually make it's way across from the land of the Pan, with a big Ja in front of it, in the guise of Studio Ghibli's numero uno, Hayao Miyazaki.
Anyone familiar with his works will know how great his films can be, smart, funny, touching, beautiful, sometimes scary and tense, he can craft a wonderful tale without fear that a slow pace will lose all enthusiasm, in fact, the 2 hour Spirited Away isn't fast at all, but is ridiculously perfect, one of the finest films ever made.

And here in lies the problem.
I loved Spirited Away, I enjoyed My Neighbor Totoro and Princess Mononoke, Howl's Moving Castle, not so much. So I was looking forward to, what everyone proclaimed, a triumphant return to brilliance from Miyazaki with Ponyo.
I guess I'm just not understanding critics anymore. The film began with 4 minutes of odd underwater moments, a human, Liam Neeson, bad acting, is working on making fish, and Ponyo escapes.
The rest of the plot is this: fish meets boy, fish loves boy, fish taken home, fish becomes girl, girl loves boy, boy loves girl, 50 minutes of rooting around an island until they can have a happy ending, without any semblance of threat or danger.
It may be a pleasant, easy watch, but it's not interesting, engaging or well done. The animation can be breathtaking, but it can also be simplistic to a point where it feels weak, the dubbing can be good, but awful too, Ponyo has frequent moments in which her mouth opens and the girl's voice lets out a silly sigh to fill the gap.
Matt Damon is listed high up for having, what, 5 lines, as a dad away from home who, as it happens, has no relevance to the plot. Neither do the old women characterised by Lily Tomlin, Cloris Leachman and the awesome Betty White. Hell, Cate Blanchett's mercy spirit mother thing comes in about an hour in to magically fix any danger that just occurred, no problems.

As Ponyo is taken by the young boy, there are about 5 moments in the 5 minute sequence where he worries she has died, all involving her squirting water out, I fear that's one of the 'comic' elements like the old biddies, which is not funny, like, at all. As is a long sequence involving a baby's evil face.

The level of humour is low, the level of entertainment is low, and it's disastrous to see such an iconic legend making such an awful awful film, and getting praise for it.
And if that wasn't bad enough, Liam Neeson keeps complaining about humans ruining the ocean, we get it, environment is good, humans are bad, enough self-deprecating, we're the dominant species, lets act like them. In fact, I believe Rodeney Dangerfield said it best: "Hey, we're all gonna get laid" so shut the frak up.
3/10

Wednesday 10 February 2010

I am the eggman, I am the wolfman, a coo coo cachoo a coo cachoo.

So, it's been abut 4 years since Universal put The Wolfman in full swing, I remember being in college and reading that the original director left during pre-production, fearing Brett Ratner's involvement, intrigued by what James Mangold would do, and being rather meh over Joe Johnson's hiring.

I never had an issue with Benecio Del Toro in the lead, I knew he loved The Wolfman and, well, this picture sums it up:

Just look at him. A perfect villain from the 40's, shaggy, slightly to imperfectly perfect, and yet you know you can't trust him.

And his voice. Oh that voice.
Unfortunately that single image has more gravitas than the whole of the finally released Wolfman 2008.

Whilst Benecio tries, he has little to do, a character written so dull that he's not only 1D, he's also left walking around the whole time, how can we care about the plight of he unwanted curse if the person behind the beast is so uninteresting?

The problem of uninterest hits the usually remarkable Emily Blunt, she still looks as bloody beautiful as ever, but the Kiera Knightey performance given is so painfully dull, more than a little restrained, and once more, no emotional connection.

Fortunately Anthony Hopkins as the father of Benecio is wonderful, a little crazy, a bit silly, very restrained, but weird, and entertaining. As is Hugo Weavin'g underused Police inspector. It's Hugo Weaving with a gun, a tache and on the hunt for a wolf beast, simple and well done.

It's a shame that the film's aesthetics are wonderful too, it's a well shot film, sans the horrible CGI, it looks brilliant, and has the creepy, near monotone look that could be recalled to the olden days, the music is a bit more generic, but Danny Elfman is pretty much stuck at that nowadays.

The practical effects look good. I mean real good. It's a shame they used so much CGI, not only does it ruin the brilliance of hiding in the shadows, barely seeing the evil, making things creepier, but the transformation would have been far better if it weren't CGI, it takes away from all believability.

It seems that studios are too scared to not use CGI in films these days, for fear I guess that without it everything looks silly. I saw clips without CGI back in 2008, and that was cracking stuff, subtle and simple. And with the 2 year wait, it seems that they edited the film so much to make it a much more modern film. The CGi is just part and parcel of it, the annoying jump scares which are too obvious and never work are in full force here, whereas a slow creep would have been spine-tingling, we just have a dog constantly barking as a scare, it's like freaking Daybreakers, and then mixing that with some slow, unfortunately poorly written scenes which have a more old fashioned way of going about business, and then some 80's schlock gore, mostly CGI too it seems, or at least caked in red computer pixels. The tone's constant shifting never helps, and a full 5 minutes near the end of Benecio hunting around the mansion waiting for the next loud noise scare is absolutely stupid, at no point did I care or get scared, and it's a shame that this film culd never offer me something I've been waiting years for.

Here's an image of Benecio after he realises what the end result is:



As bad as Dorian Gray.
2/10

Michael Cera revolting? I agree.

Mickey Cera has been failing to top himself for years.
I'm surprised he didn't once he realised he was in Year One.

But Cera has been playing the same schtick for too long, awkward nerdy tee trying to get laid.
And it was good when it was fresh. The unwrapped marvel of George Michael Bluth, not the singer songwriter, who awkwardly fell in love with his cousin, and then the most boring girl on the planet. Her?
So when Superbad came out I was all aquiver, Cera's big break. Superbad remains a disappointment, bland, dull, the acting is hit and miss, and the breakthroughs came from Christopher Mitz-Plasse and Bill Hader.
Cera then made Juno, where he and Jason Bateman were in the same film together. It was, however, an overwhelming failure.
As was Nick & Norah's Infinite Playlist, and of course, eugh, Year One.

So it's nice to say Youth In Revolt has the best Michael Cera I've seen since Lucille was arrested in 2006.
Cera plays Nick Twisp, an awkward 16 year old who is 'too nice' for the girls, who want bad guys. He meets one girl who likes as many pretentious things as he, the script was not written with normal teens in mind, only the indie kids that don't exist, at least not in the most extreme nature they do on film. Only problem is she has a boyfriend and he has to move away. So, in a plan she can get his father a job nearby if Twisp can get kicked out of the house. He does this by inventing an alter ego full of evil, Francois Dillinger.

Michael Cera with a John Waters mustache smoking and acting nasty, it's actually rather hysterical, and when the two Ceras interact you forget it's one person playing them, similar to Sam Rockwell last year, two solid performances from the same person make your forget so easily.

Though Cera is fantastic in this, his co-stars are top notch too, included in this group are Steve Buscemi as his father. Fred Willard as an activist neighbour, when is Willard bad? Even with a bad script he brings the funny, as evidenced here. Justin Long briefly appears as a drugged up brother to Cera's love. Zach Galifianakis is nasty and grimy as Twisp's mother's lover in the opening, who escapes post-return home, after a long series of events.
Ray Liotta is a police officer who hooks up with Twisp's mother, and eventually calls for Twisp's arrest once they break up.

But with such a cast, it can't retain quality, as the film's 90 minutes running time is full of scenarios that it has to overcome, within that time Cera is forced away from home for fear that Galifianakis will be beaten up by sailors, meets a girl, goes home, invents a new self, blows up a restaurant, lives with his father takes a trip to the other side of America to visit the girl, get sent home, convince another girl to help get his love expelled, go home, evade police, fake death, make love to his love, get arrrested, all in 90 minutes.

It's an over padded film with lots of strands that go nowhere and offer no laughs, which is a shame as some scenes are hysterical, but as the film drags on, it gets heavier and heavier to a point where it's ridiculous and plodding. Like Edge Of Darkness, this was an adaptation, though of a book this time, but why do these films think retaining EVERYTHING makes it a good film? Tighten it up, have a straight focus, and don't make it seem so different if in the end it's as bland and generic as any film.
5/10

"You're either hanging on the cross, or hammering in the nails. Or directing the whole thing"

Melanie Gibbons has been away far too long from our screens that we only associate him with The Passion Of the Christ and Apocalypto. You know, ultra violent films wherein violent societies are brought down by the qualities of Catholicism (Wow!)
So after Signs, it's nice to have a break where Mel can get rid of his demons, I hear he dabbles a tad in some quiet nightly romps with Mr. Jackanory Daniels and promote Kristalnacht after a few, but that's neither here nor there.

No, Mel is back as the lead of a film. Remember the times people cared about that stuff? The good old days, I can say old os I wasn't born before they started, when things like Lethal Weapon and Mad Max appeared, Mel was an insane, funny, charismatic, emotional lead we all loved. Well, at least he's back to us no, whilst in Edge Of Darkness he doesn't offer any humour, it's fine because the situation would only be hindered by some Mel gags. Dunno about you, but if my daughter was shot in front of me by a henchman of an obviously evil lead of a corporation working with the government detailing nuclear weapons, I'd not be going up alongside Raaaaaaaandy! and offering a set meself.

But to the film's credit, they try to let Ray Winstone, a comedian the likes of Colin Firth if Mark Kermode is to be believed, as he offers small lines repeated until you laugh, it's like a Seltzer Friedberg script there, but I digress, lets talk about the actual film.

So, based on an old miniseries from the BBC, like most films that aren't reboots or sequels nowadays, Martin Campbell, of Goldeneye and Casino Royale fame, and also he did the horrible Zoro flicks, takes a breath away from action films, as the accumulated action is about 4 minutes maximum, and well done, sans the last scene, which is unnecessary. But it's a drama thriller about one Boston cop who tries to find who shot his daughter. Also it's about Ray Winstone's operative character helping the audience learn everything before the 40th minute is up because he's on both sides of the line, even though it worked well until minute 35 because it was all from Mel's perspective.

Also it's about Danny Huston's ridiculously over evil CEO who has meetings in abandoned areas by a port where he openly details murders like no one would bug him. And it's about a group of radicals trying to take down the evil nuclear conspiracy. There's so much stuff going on by the first hour's end because it is a miniseries turned into a film, and it seems that they felt it was all necessary. It was not.

No, I'd have liked Winstone to be mysterious, Huston to be subtle, the radical stuff, not necessary short of helping Mel link one person to smack in the face to another he can shoot through the hand and into the eye, that's about it.

And it's a shame that the opening 25 minutes are well done and get right on, and the last Mel sequence, where he limps into the CEO's house and shoots everyone without remorse, is so wonderfully done, clearly Campbell's action chops are top notch. But then it goes to Winstone talking to a cover up agent and a senator, trying to compose a PR way to spin the events. Nice. Until Winstone stops talking, stands up and shoots them. Stupid stupid idea, talking at the end, closing it off with everything covered up, not exposed, would have been a dark, wonderful idea. But alas, poor Yorick, we suffer a cliched thriller with a lack of anything but a talented cast and a wonderful director trying hard.

Still, maybe Mel will stay on our screens again, hate him to disappear once more.
5/10