Tuesday, 21 April 2009

In The Thick Of The Loop

It's April, this time last year Son Of Rambow was demolishing the box office and everyone agreed it was excellent, and the Friday coming up was the release of another absolute gem in British cinema, In Bruges.
April seems to be a nice safe haven betwixt Oscar films and Blockbusters for small homegrown cinema to thrive.
And in the same vein of quality English vulgar comedy, we have In The Loop, a semi-spin-off of The Thick Of It on BBC4, a show I could never get into until the hour long specials, where it could thrive in length and not have Langham hold it down, he's funny, but not in the same way as this, his deadpan is against zany not realistic.

The only two characters back are Peter Capaldi's spin doctor Malcom Tucker, and fellow Scottish foul-mouthed angry man Jamie, played brilliantly by Paul Higgins.
The basic premise is a cabinet minister, Simon Foster played by Tom Hollander, says War is unforseeable on Radio 4, and it kicks off a PR issue over the government's situation on war (Clearly this is about Iraq and the lead up) and ends up going to Washington to discuss the hot topic with US committee members, some hope he'll help force their views against war, some are working with England to get it going.
On top of this, Toby, Chris Addison, has his first few weeks as an Aide to Foster as everything goes to pot.

A lot of actors play similar if not the same roles as the show, under new names, but it's no matter, the performances are still spot on, and the script, alongside the improvisation of the cast, is genius. Seriously quotable. "Easy Peasy Lemon Squeesy" "No, it's not, it's Difficult Difficult Lemon Difficult"
"Hey Love Actually, do you want me to hole-punch your face?"
"I know how much you hate swearing, you F Star Star C*nt!"

I can't say any that are even better, hell, that last one shouldn't be said on this forum, but there's not a scene goes by without a fair few effs and blinds, like the show. And my god swearing is never as funny as when Capaldi's angry rants with his accent occur.
Even Gandolfini gets in on a lot of it, clearly having fun making such a smart comedy, and Steve Coogan's cameo is just brilliant, becoming more and more intricate with the story of Simon Foster up to the end.

Armando Ianucci has always been amazing at spotting talent and making great shows. The Day Today, Time Trumpet, The Armando Ianucci show, and finally his brilliance can be seen on a big screen, with amazing writers, a great documentary/guerilla feel, and genius falling out the edges.

It's not in cinemas for long, but in the US when it comes out, find a cinema it's showing at and drive like mad to catch it, funniest stuff you'll see for a long time.
10/10

Sunday, 19 April 2009

State Of Films These Days!

Today's free screening is the small film entitled "State Of Play" with very few actors who are familiar at all, and from a director we know nothing about (A certain Kevin MacDonald, who did that documentary Touching the Void, and, er. Erm, he did something else, can't for the life of me remember... Oh, Last King Of Scotland)

Yes, the second fictional feature from MacDonald, one that's had an interesting past. Based on the TV drama off Aunty Beeb, the film was going to be Fight Club 2, with Bradd as the reporter and Ed as the politician, but when the writer's strike hit, and they wanted a re-write, but couldn't get it, both pulled out. So now we have Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck filling the roles in a script not re-written (and boy does it show) and having no chemistry together.

Now, I'm sure most of you are thinking, Ben Affleck? That guy from Phantoms? But he's not good.
Well, first off, go eff yourselves, Affleck is more actor than you'll ever be, and secondly, he does a damn fine job with the little he is given, in fact, when looking at the cast there's only a few who stand out, and for the wrong reasons:
Russell Crowe - Sporting Nic Cage and Tom Hanks' wigs put together, he's duller than usual, and even less interesting as a lead than as any ancillary character should be.
Rachel McAdams - Miscast-ness strikes again. She seems to play the I.Q. level of ditzy reporter, see Katie Holmes' excellent version of twisting that on it's head in Thank You For Smoking, and is also amazingly boring (It's a trend, no one is interesting)

Ben Affleck: Great actor given little to do.
Robin Wright Penn: Even less to do, she's just there to be talked about as a shock that everyone knows she slept with Crowe.
Helen Mirren: J Jonah Jameson in a real kind of film, sweary, angry and wanting Spider-Man.
Michael Weston: Small role of co-reporter, he's Weston, he's awesome, under-rated and unfairly overlooked once more.
Jeff Daniels: Hardly subtle as a villain, and as interesting as watching paint decay after having a marathon fest of watching it dry, followed by re-watching it dry with commentary by two old women.
Barry Shabaka Henley & Viola Davis: An Oscar nominee and a man with presence given I think one speaking line each.

And last but not least, and I schiesse you nicht.
Jason Bateman.
Jason effing Bateman, Teen Wolf Too.
He's a comedy actor! I was already willing to walk out, and when he popped his face in, after a shot of Russell Crowe running in the most parodical way, I thought, good god, this is a spoof, right? Right?
It's not, it's meant to be entirely serious...

Now, lets look at two of the writers:

Matthew Michael Carnahan: Writer of The Kingdom and Lions For Lambs, whilst admittedly not good at home, in the cinema were crackers of films, truly interesting, light but sensible and well crafted.

Tony Gilroy:
Yeah. Tony Goddamn I hope you die painfully soon hack job Gilroy.
You all know what I'm gonna say.

It's got Gilroy all over it, it's predictable, dumbed down beyond belief, slow, exposition heavy with no subtlety, and everything a good film shouldn't be.

Now, I know it might be jumping too far since I've only recently watched the first season, but watching the film, I was thinking about The Wire.

The point where Helen Mirren wanted the story on the paper that day, instead of waiting for it to be complete, and then the reporters claiming it'll scare away potential suspects. This was two episodes of The Wire right there, without the subtleties, the humour, the interesting characters and the Baltimore Pit setting of the dealers, of course, and the dialogue seemed suspiciously similar.

I know it's considered one of the greatest shows on television, but what right do you have to copy and paste from it for a shoddy TV-to-Film remake?

It was the worst 2 hours in cinema since Duplicity, which was as bad as The Spirit, Michael Clayton, and of course, Anything Tony Gilroy has ever touched. I had hoped Carnahan would have ripped the shoddy script up and written one anew with no Gilroy factor, alas, he's a god to most people, he's dumb smart technique for filmgoers with the double digit I.Q.s who want to feel challenged, but for normal folks, he's just a hack who makes shoddy scripts with nothing but exposition until everyone understands.

It's a dire film and hopefully will be looked at like so one day, even as a free screening I want my time, and some compensation, back, a complete waste in every way.
Avoid, avoid and once more, avoid.
1/10 (And barely at that)

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

High Voltage- High Concept- High Rating

His Name Is Chev Chelios, and in 2006, he didn't die.
At the end he blinked, this time they highlight that blink with a squidgy sound effect, and three months after miraculous surviving a fall from a helicopter a hundred feet high, and bouncing off a car with an old woman in, apparently, he's out for more violence. Somebody took his Super-Heart, and he's got a shoddy electric one to keep him alive as they dissect more of Super-Hitman (Timothy Olyphant has nothing on the Stath).

Cue violence, swearing, blood, bullets, breasts, ADD editing, amazingly crazy visuals, very odd flash-backs, flash-to's, flashing girls, everything short of a kitchen sink, unless Chev threw it out in a fit of rage in one of the scenes cut.

The easiest thing to do would be a large plot summary, with who's back, who's new, what's happening, but the whole fun of the kinetic franticity* of the Crank films is sh*t happens, and you get a laugh out of how insane it gets, and the shock of it.
*(Yeah, I made up a word, big whoop)
So basic plot, Chev Chelios wants his heart back, understandably, and everyone else is in his way, friends and foes, so he must by-pass them all to get info and find it, and keep his new heart going after a car crash breaks the big battery.

So, what do I think of this film?

Nevaldine and Taylor burst onto the screens in '06 with Crank, an amazing film full of crazy ideas, extreme OTT violence, language, camera-work, more sickening than Bourne style shaky-ness, and made a film version of the greatest video game imaginable, GTA with a time limit.

This time they are back, bigger, bolder and they know what's going on, what is expected, and instead of saying, dude, we can't match this, we should totally hold back like Quantum of Solace, they remember why Transporter 2 is as good as, if not better than, the original. They multiplied the first film and added even more moments where you think they are just having a massive laugh, but they want you to join in too, it's not serious, it's not clever, it's just an hour and a half of pure brilliance.

Hell, there's a moment where someone describes Chelios as looking like that actor off that Trainspotting film.

The film is well made, it looks gorgeous and is edited perfectly, very over-the-top, and once again Google Maps points the way, the music is brilliant, the action is perfect, and the sex scene this time. Well, it's far more than the last one, hell, there's so much some gets pixellated, more for style of course, but damn if it ain't a shame when it comes to Amy Smart.

Bai Ling gets in on the act this time too with a crazy performance as a hooker who is Chelios' Jar Jar, only she doesn't annoy the audience, only him.

The film is spot-on, there's nothing I can say against it, the pace like part one is amped to the max all the way through, the dialogue is even funnier this time, and there's some really surreal moments, including a Gerri Halliwell cameo. Just wait.

This is not a sequel, this is simply the second half of Crank, the epic four and a half hour action film starring Jason Statham as the man who survives gun-fights, helicopter falls, burning alive, heart transplants and re-transplants, electric jolts, and has time to be cool enough to give a large gang member a colonoscopy with a Shot Gun.

Masterpiece in action cinema yet again, and no, I'm not joking, for well made high concept action, look to Nevaldine and Taylor.

10/10

Wednesday, 1 April 2009

Snickadee Snickadee Wolverine Missadee

Yes, you all know now the workprint of Fox's new Marvel flick Wolverine, or, like X2, it's retardedly long, but this time actual title, X-Men Origins: Wolverine, because without that we thought it'd be a Red Dawn sequel, was leaked online Tuesday some time, and there's a lot of mumblings over how bad it is that a film this big can be leaked so early, and if you're thinking, erm, should I, shouldn't I? Well, this review aims to put a lot of that to rest, but also, remember, it's Fox, they Ratnered X3, They Fucked up Fantastic Four, cancelled Firefly, Futurama, Drive, Family Guy during it's good years, made AvP and AvP:R, Dragonball, Street Fighter thingy this year, and a series of the worst of the worst, lowest ebb films for a long time.

Now, lets even the playing fields.

This studio gave us Star Wars, and four subsequent brilliant films, and a Jar Jar one, and a CGI horror.
They gave us Alien, and Aliens, and two more Aliens, Fight Club, Predator, Die Hard's 1-3, they gave X-Files a second chance, with a solid film, Office Space, Daredevil and many more.
They have done some amazing films, shows, everything.
But they are ruled by the most retarded people in history, oh, plot holes? How about an explosion? Hmm, no character development, can we show some nipple? What do you mean we can't afford a score, throw in some hip-hop, yeah, so what if Edison wasn't a rap guy, was he racist? Oh, well, who cares, sell us some CDs bitch!

So, in 2000 Bryan Singer gave the World a PG-13 Superhero film to write home about, smart, effective, exciting, well made, a classic film for our times, then in 2003 he produced a sequel that was simply put perfect. More mutants, more story, but it never felt too much, it was perfect, nothing less. Of course nothing could beat it, but the preparations for a Brett Ratner X-Men were hard, and Singer's career hasn't hit highs such as these since. Ratner, god love him for Rush Hour films and After The Sunset, had to follow perfection, and he failed, however he certainly tried, similar aesthetics, with his spin, and some cool moments, with some dire story points and unnecessary character additions.

I love the first two, and X3 is a guilty pleasure for an action flick, but one thing was missing from the X-Men. That's right, Jubilee! Yes, the fireworks mutant... No, I jest, Gambit is what I'm on about, and finally we see him on a film, here, and guess what? He's limited to nothingness and a side-kick in a film about a man who has had three separate movies so far, and this film is full of side-characters, Ryan Reynolds' 3 mins of screen-time, Liev Schreiber's Defiance character channeling Sabertooth. Danny Huston gives a lot for a popcorn film as Stryker, but there's no way this guy becomes Brian Cox.

Hugh Jackman is alright as the title character, time and time again he's done it well, but this year's Oscars have not helped him retain such a hard man image, the guy is talented and can sing and dance, sure, but our Wolvie needs to be brutal, masculine, but this side of Brokeback. wolverine, alas, now is not, he's too simple, he's a dull character who somehow can't carry his own film, but had no problem doing it for 3 X-Films.

This is mainly due to the absolutely dire script. Poor contrived plot points and twists (Adamantium bullets to destroy his memory at the end) and just awful dialogue, the final lines being "You drinking to forget?" "No, I'm drinking to remember!"

WHAT THE FUCK!
Ok, yeah that maybe a response to a cliche, but it's not only supposed to make sense, but have some humour in it, an the film is drier than a prune in the middle of the Sahara.

The film is piss poor because of this. Not even Patrick Stewart's cheesy cameo, a selection of mutants randomly chosen that destroys continuity for the first film, and some action scenes can salvage this wreck.

It is classic Fox in working, nothing really makes sense, and the pace is off, but there's a lot of fighting and explosions, it's most likely some suit-based film, or if this is all Hood's intentions, he's dramatically decreased from the horribly dull and easy to guess twist film that was Rendition.

Don't see it, it's not worth anything, just wait, Coraline will be out on May 8th, and Transformers 2 and Public Enemies soon after, movies worth seeing.
2/10

The Little Boat That Could. (Rock)

The Boat That Rocked, my first foray into Richard Curtis on the big screen, the trailers were dull and annoying, giving away sod all, and it's a shame that it was so poorly handled, because whilst maintaining the annoying romantic whimsy of Curtis, the film is surprisingly good.

That is, of course, all due to the players of the piece. Phillip Seymour Hoffman unfairly being in the background more often than not, though listed first in the opening titles, is as good as ever, just relaxing and clearly having a good time. Nick Frost is more an annoyance than a nice guy, but he's got some moments. Bill Nighy is given precious little, and thus doesn't get any comedy but still has the presence. Rhys Ifans does sod all too, and it's a shame, but again, backbone to the film.

Rhys Darby, however, gets to mix his sound effects and silly stand-up with everyone else, and is a blast the whole way through. However, the piece de-resistance is Chris O'Dowd. Whilst he was alright in The IT Crowd, and has been brilliant in the actually funny ITV2 comedy FM, the only time he's been on the big screen was How To Lose Friends, and that was only a minute or two. Here he's a major character, with his own subplot of finding love, getting married and watching it all go to pot, stretching not only his clearly brilliant comedic muscles, but those dramatic ones get a solid seeing to as well. He really is the film's shining star.

The main character, well, the one who helps the audience get acquainted to the characters of the boat, Tom Sturridge, is pretty good, but he's lumbered with the messy Curtis-ness, relationship troubles, romanticism, everything you want to beat out of Notting Hill basically, except Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts, he doesn't have them on him, thankfully, but he succeeds in not annoying the audience with emo/whimsy moments.

The plot is odd, a lot of vignettes for the boat characters, with a constant underlay of Kenneth Branagh and Jack Davenport working in London to shut them down, which is just dull and uninspired, it's obvious what Curtis is trying to do, but the film hits two hours ten minutes, cutting out a lot of unnecessary Branagh/Davenport gunk would make the film swifter, funnier and more of a happy film, until, of course, it's darker ending, akin to Titanic, just on a small scale.

The film is technically sound, editing is fun and showy-offy in the best way, music choices work well with the image and radio's content, CGI is spotless, some cool cinematic camera shots add to the film and it feels like Curtis' strongest.

Script is a mixture, however, the square characters are annoyingly unnecessary, some dialogue is just stretching for the jokes, and some clearly miss anything solid.
However, the film is surprisingly funny, gentle funny, but funny none-the-less. It had I think one laugh out loud moment, but lots of small chuckles and was a nice film to sit through, for a comedy it doesn't really have enough, but for what it is, I'll take it.

Overall what could have been another dire rom-com from Curtis is a bit of a softer lads flick, not that crude, only a hint of nudity, some cursing, but not too much, no drugs, lotta alcyhol and plenty o' Rock'n'Roll.

Easy to forget, but I'm sure it's whimsical enough to be devoured again and again for years to come as it is continually played on ITV2 when they have no new Jordan and Peter based shows.
8/10