His Name Is Chev Chelios, and in 2006, he didn't die.
At the end he blinked, this time they highlight that blink with a squidgy sound effect, and three months after miraculous surviving a fall from a helicopter a hundred feet high, and bouncing off a car with an old woman in, apparently, he's out for more violence. Somebody took his Super-Heart, and he's got a shoddy electric one to keep him alive as they dissect more of Super-Hitman (Timothy Olyphant has nothing on the Stath).
Cue violence, swearing, blood, bullets, breasts, ADD editing, amazingly crazy visuals, very odd flash-backs, flash-to's, flashing girls, everything short of a kitchen sink, unless Chev threw it out in a fit of rage in one of the scenes cut.
The easiest thing to do would be a large plot summary, with who's back, who's new, what's happening, but the whole fun of the kinetic franticity* of the Crank films is sh*t happens, and you get a laugh out of how insane it gets, and the shock of it.
*(Yeah, I made up a word, big whoop)
So basic plot, Chev Chelios wants his heart back, understandably, and everyone else is in his way, friends and foes, so he must by-pass them all to get info and find it, and keep his new heart going after a car crash breaks the big battery.
So, what do I think of this film?
Nevaldine and Taylor burst onto the screens in '06 with Crank, an amazing film full of crazy ideas, extreme OTT violence, language, camera-work, more sickening than Bourne style shaky-ness, and made a film version of the greatest video game imaginable, GTA with a time limit.
This time they are back, bigger, bolder and they know what's going on, what is expected, and instead of saying, dude, we can't match this, we should totally hold back like Quantum of Solace, they remember why Transporter 2 is as good as, if not better than, the original. They multiplied the first film and added even more moments where you think they are just having a massive laugh, but they want you to join in too, it's not serious, it's not clever, it's just an hour and a half of pure brilliance.
Hell, there's a moment where someone describes Chelios as looking like that actor off that Trainspotting film.
The film is well made, it looks gorgeous and is edited perfectly, very over-the-top, and once again Google Maps points the way, the music is brilliant, the action is perfect, and the sex scene this time. Well, it's far more than the last one, hell, there's so much some gets pixellated, more for style of course, but damn if it ain't a shame when it comes to Amy Smart.
Bai Ling gets in on the act this time too with a crazy performance as a hooker who is Chelios' Jar Jar, only she doesn't annoy the audience, only him.
The film is spot-on, there's nothing I can say against it, the pace like part one is amped to the max all the way through, the dialogue is even funnier this time, and there's some really surreal moments, including a Gerri Halliwell cameo. Just wait.
This is not a sequel, this is simply the second half of Crank, the epic four and a half hour action film starring Jason Statham as the man who survives gun-fights, helicopter falls, burning alive, heart transplants and re-transplants, electric jolts, and has time to be cool enough to give a large gang member a colonoscopy with a Shot Gun.
Masterpiece in action cinema yet again, and no, I'm not joking, for well made high concept action, look to Nevaldine and Taylor.
10/10
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